13 January 2008

Women of cover

(Update: as everyone at church observed this morning, I'm still here. My doc, however, informs me that I am in imminent danger of having a baby at any moment, so get ready. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.)

I like clothes. Not buying them, wearing them. Says so right here we should. Shame, like pain in childbearing, is something we picked up along with sin. This is why I reserve my right to find labor not only painful, but humiliating. I know, I know--doctors and nurses have seen it all. There's no other way to do it. But I don't like trying to be talked out of my embarrassment over the whole thing. Yes, it does bother me, a LOT, even in my least analytical moments of labor. Yes, everyone has told me male doctors are nicer, but I just can't deal with the idea, so I'll stick with the mean girls. And I would really, really like for someone to explain to me why there always seem so many people there just watching the show. Back to the nurses' station with you! Don't you have some annoying patient to complain about together? That would be more fun.

For those of us who wish wearing a burka wouldn't give the wrong confessional impression: it's ok to feel bad about the sartorial necessities of childbirth. It's sad that we do, but it's also sad that the whole thing hurts so bloody much. Nobody would try to tell you it doesn't hurt, or it doesn't matter that it hurts. And I think it's fair to say that if your modesty hurts too, it just shows that your sin-damaged reflexes are in working order.


Reb. Mary said...

Rest assured: you're not the only one who's committed to patronizing only female docs ;)

Gotta love walking in to church and hearing, "You still here?" from everyone you see, each of whom thinks they're the only one to think of saying it. Well, I suppose they're just trying to make conversation.

William Weedon said...

There is, of course, the option of a home birth. It does much to preserve the privacy of the moment.

Rebekah said...

I think they're all just fascinated by the fact that I'm still pretending to be ambulatory, whether or not I've had the baby.

Father William, as soon as I find a midwife who will attend a homebirth in this litigious corner of this litigious state, I'll enlist your help in talking Dad into the scheme.

Gauntlets said...

Men doctors aren't nicer. They are more dense, but not more nice.

Which is, perhaps, an unfair thing to say. But the one time I employed a male doctor he jacked me full of drugs and then occupied my husband's attention talking about his (the doctor's) imminent trip to Mexico.

I am still very angry about this.

As for home births: What a wonderful idea! But that then YOU have to clean up the mess. ;)

Good work being upright. We're all rooting for you here.

Reb. Mary said...

Midwives are actually illegal 'round here too, it seems.

And yes, the mess factor--hard enough to keep the house clean without adding all that to it :P

elephantschild said...

As for home births: What a wonderful idea! But that then YOU have to clean up the mess. ;)

Nope. You don't. There're a few tricks, one of which involves protecting the mattress with a shower curtain and using two sets of sheets, and your midwife will walk everything down to the washing machine and start it for you.

I had to stand up for about 2 minutes while my midwife whipped the upper sheet off. VOILA! Clean bed!

-Elephantschild, former resident of a state that allowed homebirth, and now in elsewhere.

Kelly Klages said...

My male doctor was extremely ornery during the labor (which was actually, I think, something quite unlike he'd ever seen). But once he stopped being mean and realized that some things had been misdiagnosed, he and the other 10 or so doctors and nurses in the room got down to the business of saving my life, so how can I complain?

But I do, anyway... pain and humiliation to the nth degree characterized that particular experience and the weeks surrounding!

Rebekah said...

Wow, that all sounds terribly exciting! Glad they got their act together in time so that you could commiserate with us about it. :)