09 January 2008

Have you tried...?

In honor of Rebekah being so close to D-day, I think we should compile a list of the foolproof ways to jump-start labor that people so helpfully suggest to women in the last days of a pregnancy. In my experience, these brilliant suggestions are particularly, ah, charming, when they are offered after one's actual due date, by representatives of the male of the species.

I'll get us started:

1. Just relax and have a beer.

2. Eat spicy foods.

3. Take a car ride down a bumpy road.

4. Jump on the bed.

5. Drink castor/cod liver oil. One of my friends actually tried this, and it did produce something--but not a baby. Er. Ugh.

So, feel free to chime in with your favorites, and also mention whether you've had any luck with them! Because scoff though we may, there's a certain desperation that sets in, especially after the official date has come...and gone...


Gauntlets said...

I've heard that castor oil bit, too, and know someone who knows someone who swears by it. Good for her, whoever she is. I'll stick to my tactic should my time come again: complaining and glowering.

Another one I've heard: brisk walking. Ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HOOOOT!

Wow. People are hilarious.

elephantschild said...

I suggest consuming whatever will be the most horrifying coming back up the other way just prior to transition.

In my case, it was a steak burger (with pickles) and a double killer brownie earthquake fudge sundae.

Blech. Still makes me sick, 5 yrs later. ::fades to sickly green::

Gauntlets said...

There's this one, too, which I forgot about mentioning until just now:

Doctor (a representative of said male species): "Hey! I'm going off to Mexico! Let's induce!"

Me: "What? Um. No."

(time passes)

Doctor: "Hey! I'm going off to Mexico! Let's induce!"

Me: "What!?! Didn't we talk about this? No!"

(more time passes)

Doctor: "Hey! I'm sick of looking at you! Let's induce!"

Me: "You know, I'm sick of you, too. Pitocin me."

(labor begins)

Baby: "Hey! I'm OP! You should have waited!"

Me: *growl, snarl, snarfblat*

Reb. Mary said...

Here's one that I've had some luck with:
Let the laundry, housework, and grocery shopping slide to the point of complete shame. This is particularly effective if you're far from family, so that you will be worried about horrifying the nice people, probably parishioners who volunteered to watch the kids while you're in labor, who must walk into the disaster zone.

Mrs. Maschke said...

I know someone that was so ready that they jumped off of their kitchen table...it didn't work and is not recommended.

Rebekah said...

Wow, thanks, girls. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. So far the only recommendation I've had this time was to scrub the kitchen floor, but I'm going with RM's approach (as proven by my sudden and extraordinary urge to wash a bunch of pots and pans before going to bed last night--obviously the baby isn't ready yet).