So an acquaintance was kind enough to invite me and a couple other moms over for a playdate and lunch. Between bites of macaroni, a (Sulvan) mom, upon discovering that Baby 3 is also Boy 3, asked The Question: "So, are you going to make another try for a girl or just call it quits?"
Now, I still don't have a good answer for this question. Maybe it's because I'm still relatively new at this CSPP thing. Maybe it's because I don't get out and talk to normal people much.
Partly, I think I get hung up on the implication that my second or third boy is somehow less wanted simply because we already have one or two of that sex. That's actually kind of offensive. Who said we were "trying" for a girl? Though that's what everyone seems to assume. Just today, I heard again the consolotary, "well, that's ok too" when someone heard that another boy is expected. (I doubt the people who say such things have really grasped that implication, so I try not to let it irk me. Doesn't do to be too sensitive in this business.) Our two born boys are so very different--they are unique persons, not just blue blankets instead of pink. And though we don't know the third boy too well yet, we're already ridiculously attached to him just as he is. (Of course, I would be delighted to have a daughter someday--don't get me wrong!)
The possible answers that immediately sprang to mind had to be discarded just as immediately.
"Well, we've concluded that artificial birth control is immoral--hormonal birth control may even be abortificient--and so we tossed the pills" just might possibly come across as a wee bit pompous and rude, to say nothing of not being particularly winsome or conducive to future conversation. (And besides the fact that offending the hostess's friend is never nice, hey, I'd love to be invited back there sometime--they've got goats!!)
"Well, we might just see what happens" is equivocal, cowardly, unhelpful.
So while struggling to keep the toddler's food in the vicinity of his plate, I managed to come up with something fumbling to the effect of "well, we used to think we'd just have 2 or 3 kids, but now we haven't really set a number, we've all been blessed with good health and we're kind of excited to see what God's plans are for our family." Ugh. Terribly convincing, huh?
Especially since I tried to throw in some sort of disclaimer about how I'm not doing this because it's my idea of a great time, like those obviously more contented women R. described earlier. I'm sure I sounded perfectly insane.
So the one who asked kind of stared at me like I was from another planet (which being non-Sulvan, of course I am) and then declared her preference not to have any more kids, at least not for awhile, and the gracious hostess (neat Christian with 3 kids so far; don't know if there are plans for more), nodded with some degree of sympathy for me, and then a preschooler (not mine, thank goodness), spit a large wad of food across the room, effectively ending my turn in the hot seat.
So how does one answer this question? Or, for those of you who have multiple girls, or some of each sex, how do you field the "so you're all done" assumption? Help me out here; I'm floundering.