15 November 2007

Halftime Report: An Exclusive Interview

Q: So, now that you’re just past the halfway point in this pregnancy, would you say that the womb is half empty or half full?
A: We’ll say half full, if inverse bladder capacity is any indication.

Q: Is this pregnancy already half over or only half over?
A: Only half over, based on the fact that we’re really just beginning to eat like a semi-normal person. Drug-free (off the anti-nausea meds) for just over a fortnight and loving it! But gosh if those first 20 weeks don’t last forever. Hard to believe this kid is only half cooked; shouldn’t he be starting kindergarten soon?

Q: So you think that throwing up four times today and subsisting on animal crackers puts you in the “semi-normal” category?
A: Well, standards around here are low. Besides, we are hoping that history will show today to be a fluke. Before today, I hadn’t thrown up since my in-laws left two weeks ago (pure coincidence, of course).

Q: This being your third pregnancy gig, is the thought of another person inhabiting your inner regions any less strange?
A: Uh, no. We find the thought to be maybe even weirder, now that the first two who were in there are walking around and talking and acting just like little human beings (for better and usually for worse). Weirder, but no less amazing—may we take this opportunity to recommend again National Geographic’s “Biology of Prenatal Development” (referenced in our 11/11 post). We are no great fans of National Geographic’s usual evolutionary-propaganda-drivel, but we are willing to give credit where credit is due.

Q: You really make the most of the royal we, don’t you?
A: Yes, we do. Although we have been known to employ it at other times (rank has its privileges), we feel particularly justified in doing so while pregnant.

3 comments:

The Gauntlets said...

Good point about things getting more weird with each subsequent kid. My first pregnancy I was all, "Look at me! I'm so cute! So bulbous and waxing! Tee hee!" But with #3 I started thinking and boy was that a bad choice.

Glad to hear your feeling better. What anti-emetic do they give you? I forget the name of mine, but I have an emergency stash. Somewhere. Hmm. I better find it one of these days . . .

Rebekah said...

They definitely get weirder. Now when that picture first pops up on the ultrasound screen I want to yell, "What the h is that thing and how did it get in there?!" (It's the spine that freaks me out. I fall in love with them when you see the face and they're already sucking on their little paws.)

We who have yet to actually throw up while pregnant hereby pay homage to you who have such an awful time. I am truly humbled by your persistence in a task which comes so much more easily to me.

Reb. Mary said...

Yeah, I think this time I lovingly commented, "Aww, our little alien." Cuz without the soft tissue/3D view, all those c-spine/t-spine pics do look rather ETish at first.

Gauntlets, Unisom+B6 is what kept me more or less functional this time, though certainly not anything approaching good. But at least I was only on it halfway thru. Do you do drugs the whole time while pregnant or do you get better at some point? :)

Rebekah, keep up the good work. You can give a cheerful face to early pregnancy as a postitive witness to make up for us CSPPers who can't always pull that off...In fact, one reason we try to hold off for awhile on telling innocent bystanders (i.e. parishioners) about our pregnancy news is my ludicrous and uncontrollable tendency either to burst into tears or say something sarcastic when congratulations are offered in those shakiest early days. But people kind of figure it out anyway when I am completely unable to enter a grocery store for 2 months or am constantly sprinting off to the nearest receptacle...