09 February 2011

Falling apart

One matter of specifics we don't get into much here is the literal falling apart we're doing. That's because it's icky. But there isn't a Concordian Sister in the world who isn't falling apart one way or another. A girl just can't have a baby without getting messed up*, and the more times you hit repeat, well . . . .

I was talking to a postpartum lady about her personal falling apartness, and all I could say was, "That's horrible. I'm so glad that doesn't happen to me." She said, "I'd rather have that than what you've got!" So that cheered us both up.

What someone else has always sounds worse. What we've got, well, we don't love it, but obviously we can live with it. That awful thing you've got, though? No thanks! :D

*A girl also can't not have a baby without getting messed up.

10 comments:

Leah said...

I thank God that I am blessed to not have too many major ailments or debilitations due to my pregnancies and births, well, other than the usual wear and tear and noticeably increasing creakiness of my bones.

(The thing that really bothers me right now, at 31 weeks pregnant, trifling as it might seem to someone who has never experienced it, is the constant tingling of my feet while I sleep. I wake up about every hour to shake and rub my feet together to get the bloodflow right. It drives me nuts!! I know, forgive my trivial complaining.)

On the other side, about "*A girl also can't not have a baby without getting messed up," I will never forget the time, when our family was with a group of church members, having a barbecue on a beach on a lovely warm evening , and these two perfectly sculpted bikini clad women in their thirties (or forties?) passed in front of our camp. They were not the first that day. This time one of the pastors who sat with us shook his head and said, "Whenever I see women like that pass by, the first thing I think is, 'Where, oh where, are their children? What poor women, and how I pity them.'"
I have never forgotten that. I too pity their reduction.

Rebekah said...

They have received their reward in full, no? :/ I was thinking also of the often painful and invasive treatments undergone by women who would like to have babies and can't. :(

Reb. Mary said...

The mutual consolation of the sistern* is a strange and marvelous thing.

*Is there an equivalent for brethren that doesn't make it sound like we're falling into a deep hole?

Untamed Shrew said...

Reb. Mary, true on both points.

Anyone who has my problem (mild uterine prolapse after 4 births, 3 of them inductions), should know this: Kegels can actually exacerbate the condition. Squats are the answer. Motorcycle Lisa told me so.

Emommy said...

When I occasionally moan about said "falling apart," my dear husband always says, "These are your battle scars. I think you are much more beautiful with them. And thank you for our children." I always feel like a million bucks when he reminds me of this.

Katy said...

Leah, my legs do that when I'm not pregnant (caffeine can exacerbate it, my doc says).

I have a friend who ovulates every 3 cycles (I think), and even though her first-born is only one and a half, she's starting to worry and become jealous of those college friends of hers who are on two or three. She wanted her kids close together. My other friend has her heart set on the number four, and now she finds she has endometriosis, and conceiving again may be a lot of waiting and work. And I'm freaking out (only every once in a while) over my apparently fertile womb, even though so far I have had no problems at all (I'm much more concerned about my mothering than my carrying, laboring and delivering).

Rebekah said...

Emommy, give that man a Slim Jim!

Katy, how are you so tough?

Melissa said...

Ah, yes. The pain in childbearing's rude awakening seems to happen at various points (if not from conception on). Falling apart has not only physical implications. Though, and I say this with a 6 week old, I am happier (in many ways) on the postpartum side of motherhood. You can have my pregnancy. :) Whoever said it's about "the journey" is full of you know what, in my book.

Katy said...

See, but I'm not tough when it comes to (child- or self-) discipline and tidiness, and patience, and all the other hard things after delivery! And my two friends' situations have shown me that tomorrow is not promised (literally, as I could die, or in terms of another child, so I shouldn't expect one, or my relative ease laboring, etc.) The ladies are very similar to me in age and history (neither have used BC), and yet for whatever reason this has happened to them, and so why not me? I haven't told either that I'm expecting. I guess it's not relevant to your post, really, but I've been thinking on it a bit, especially recently when I'm being a bad and ungrateful mother and wife, worried I'm going to have "too many" children.

This is (sort of) relevant: I do not envy the scheduled induction or C-section (for convenience). My neighbor WILL have her baby in 10 days, if he doesn't decide to come beforehand. I'm not even talking about safety or wisdom or other OB controversies. Many of my friends would never, ever just wait around for baby to come--it would drive them nuts. I would never, ever (unless medically necessary) get a C-section because it would be such a huge inconvenience. I mean, I would think recovery would take longer, it would be more painful, I would not be able to mother my other kids (or the new baby) as well afterwards. And induction takes so long...why be in the hospital 12+ hours laboring when you can be there 2-3!?

Melissa, you are right--the postpartum is worth it :) Congratulations.

Rebekah said...

Now I know we live on different planets. Postpartum is the absolute worst for me.