30 January 2009

Does this post make my butt look big?

No matter what size she is, no woman can find clothes that fit. The classically contoured can't find anything in this teenybopper day and age. The petite can't find anything what with this dad gum obesity epidemic that's all the rage. And if manufacturers remember to make something for those sized somewhere between the trendy extremes, it's always bought out since most people aren't that extreme. Ask any woman for her thoughts on purchasing clothing, and she will give you one of these three answers, or innovatively combine them to accommodate for a rogue measurement.

Dear sisters, let us stop ticking each other off. When you find you must complain about one of your innumerable proportional problems, only complain to a woman with precisely the same problem. To a woman with the opposite problem, your complaints about your problem, regardless of how deeply problematic that problem is, are extremely annoying.

(Please, no specific complaints in the comments unless they correspond precisely to my own at the moment when I will read them.)

8 comments:

Joy said...

death to all skinny people!

Rosie said...

Bread dough bellies unite!

Rebekah said...

You're hopeless.

MooreMama said...

yeah, well, I'm shaped exactly like my Mom. The older I get, the more I'm shaped like her. I've given up fighting it. :D

And if that's not your exact problem at this exact moment, feel free to delete me.

Reb. Mary said...

Just read Dr. Seuss' "The Shape of Me and Other Stuff." The last 2 pages: "Of all the shapes we MIGHT have been...I say, 'HOORAY' for the shapes we're in!" :D

Sarah D said...

I don't know what you are complaining about. I am just a shorter, wider version of Cindy Crawford.

Friend of the Predigtamt said...

Ya know what I hate? Going to the petite section...only to find unflattering clothes that screams out "Bingo Parlor", not "Hot Date".

Pam said...

does this help?

From a list of responses of men to their wives...

"I AM in shape; round is a shape!"

:)