Use white glue and spaghetti noodles to make spider webs on wax paper. (Bonus timekiller: the insatiable little omnivores will expend countless minutes crunching.)
Scissors up some snowflakes (icicles for the less competent) and brainstorm (brainblizzard) winter words to write on them. Turn children loose with scotch tape to hone interior design skills.
Fill the tub with kids, scrub brushes, and Duplos (or the veggies that need to be washed for supper tonight :D ).
Check your watch. Belatedly remember resolving not to check your watch.
Get out the cheapo white paper plates (run over to church and steal some if you don’t have any). Punch holes, weave yarn, get out your maps, and create murals depicting what people in [warm region of your choice] are doing right now.
Check weather again. Yup. Sheol is still proverbially polar-capped. No hope of getting out.
Rearrange the furniture. Particularly useful if you have a creeper/crawler/cruiser who’s into everything. Make him a nice corral and email a picture of him in it to the grandparents. Maybe they’ll get the hint and plan a visit ;-)
Call relatives who are living or visiting in The South. Realize that this is not necessarily helpful, because 1) when they don’t pick up you begin to imagine them at the beach, unable to hear the phone over the sounds of the surf, and 2) the sight of the phone in your hand triggers the kids’ Rotten Reflex.
Use warm soapy rag-socks to scrub the walls and cabinets. Something might get cleaner, or else they’ll wander off to occupy themselves. Either way, you win.
Give them plastic knives to cut bananas for their peanut butter sandwiches. Throw nutrition to the gusting wind and let them put mini marshmallows on the sandwich too. Justify it as a counting exercise.
Begin weeping in earnest when you realize that it’s only 1:00--The Time Formerly Used for Naps.
Abandon the monsters to their own devices, get online, and post all of your brilliant ideas here to inspire the rest of us. Please.