12 January 2009

Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition

Postulants: Unmarried women who intend to live as Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition upon marriage, or married women who haven't brought it up to their husbands yet, or married women who still aren't sure even after their husbands spoke to them comfortably.

Novices: Newly married women living as Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition who have not yet become pregnant.

Temporarily Avowed: Married women living as a Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition who lie awake at night.

Professed: Pam, Heidi, Karin, Dort, LaRena, Linda, Lauri, etc.

Secular Oblates: Married women who are living as Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition but haven't really talked to their husbands about it. May withdraw at any time, what with the wild card husband.

Regular Oblates: De facto Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition who aren't quite sure why. While they may have never formally professed CSPP, they seem to be living as such. A regular oblate of CSPP probably has a husband who is on board but hasn't bothered to spell that out for her benefit.

Special Oblates

First Class: Novices to whom God does not give a child. They may assume this designation at whatever time they deem appropriate.

Second But Not Dishonorable Class: Married women who cannot live as Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition but wish they could.

This needs to be a widget. Does anyone know how to build one? Or maybe we'll just have to settle for t-shirt. Maternity t-shirt. With nursing openings.

28 comments:

Joy said...

I'm writing at 3:30 AM, so... that makes me a Temporarily Avowed. Too late for the Mai Tai, Rebekah. Not pg yet, but the thought of Irish twins has me fretting. I have never been fertile with a 2-month old. Oh, to be a Regular Oblate!

AshleyEffken said...

Put me down for a Postulant (of the unmarried variety) t-shirt... I'll let you know if I ever need to upgrade to the Regular Oblate...

Someday *sigh*

MooreMama said...

Official Definition of CSPP again? Does Outside the Home Career status have any bearing?

I'm trying to figure out which tshirt to order. I do like the idea of nursing openings, though!

Gauntlets said...

Regular oblate, indeed. Especially now that I am full on right-hand moon.

Beth said...

I'm still confused about the definitions... Am I Professed if my Husband and I are letting God determine how many babies we have, and have 4 so far, and we'd probably have another tomorrow if it weren't for The Nursing? ;)
I so want to belong.

Rebekah said...

The basic premise of CSPP is taking no measures to prevent pregnancy.

Much as I'd like to consider myself professed, in my case I'm afraid it will only be known after the fact. I don't trust myself not to freak out and bail before then. I would call myself temporarily avowed, and pray for regular renewals until my profession is clear.

Rebekah said...

We also need a Mother Superior. Any nominations?

Blogversary said...

I think I belong to the SBNDC class.

MooreMama said...

I guess we're somewhere between Secular Oblate and Professed. DH claims to be on board, but worries about finding the strength/faith to go on if there are more losses.

Is there PayPal set up for shirts? Can I pay in hamburger?

Anyone come up with a widget yet?

Beth said...

OK, I think I have figured it out... I am a Professed who still lies awake at night.

Joy said...

What IS a widget?!?

As for the Alpha Female, I nominate Lauri.

Pam said...

Mother Superior? Alpha-female?

Say what?

All you young'uns are confusing my hormone-addled brain with your jargon.

And may I say, this would all be much much better if all these sisters could meet face to face. I'll speak for myself and say that the depression is worse when the reality sinks in that the only people who understand me are, for the most part, only accessible through typed words on a screen.

Oh, the loneliness...

Sorry, I should mention, for those who would not have seen my blog yet, that we were expecting a ninth child just two weeks ago, and yesterday lost our precious new little one. So we are hurting today, and lonely, and sad.

And we only just talked about this sort of thing not so long ago on this very blog. Joy, that's how I was feeling last month, when my God given motherly capacity returned as my 8th baby turned five months.

What a weird day it is. :{

MooreMama said...

Get-together... can someone find a wheatfield somewhere in Kansas? Or am I going to have to drive all the way to Nebraska or something crazy like that?

And that poll... If I were feeling more smarmy today, I'd vote differently. ;)

Lauriinnc said...

Pam, I am so sorry for your loss!

As for Alpha Mother..I am afraid I know too many mommas with almost as/as many as or more than me of the more faithful variety.

When we started out answering THE question, "As many as God gives..." we only had one. I have cried about being pregnant more than a few times and I am humbled that God changes my heart and gives me more anyway.

Reb. Mary said...

Hmmm. I think I'll take a Temporarily Avowed, sizes N-XP (Normal thru Extra Pregnant, to cover all the bases). Or maybe we could have high tech shirts with the widget installed on them, so our woeful waverings could update it as we make our way through the day?
Like a CSPP mood ring widget shirt?

Christine said...

I'll take Temporarily Avowed, Currently Gravid. ;-)

Rebekah said...

MooreMama, you can pay me for ANYTHING in hamburger.

Lauri, I think you'd be a great Mother Superior. You too, Pam. :(

RM, genius!

And a side note--this is all totally fabricated and is not indicative of the way a more *ahem* widely recognized religious order operates.

Pam said...

Hey Rebekah, can we just say 'Titus 2 women?' Hmmm, that sounds like an idea for a blog-- I mean, CSPP post. ;)

(BTW, it was Sarah calling. Isn't that funny?)

Ken Stottlemyer said...

I would like to nominate my mother for the position of mother superior. She and my father have been greatly blessed by God with 13 children. Early on they decided to allow the Lord to plan their family. She is uniquely qualified to hold this position because, in my 33 years on this earth, I have never heard her complain about diapers, late night lactation sessions, coming up with meals on a rural pastor’s salary, or dealing with homeschooling. She is a loving and caring mother and more than willing to answer questions on breastfeeding (an expert in her field with 30 yrs. constant experience), homeschooling, or living with large families.

Pam said...

hear, hear.

Say, Ken, I saw the last name on Loopers and wondered if there was a connection with a family we knew of from when my father was at the FW sem. I am guessing your wife is maybe the former, and that was you and your sibs we saw in pictures?? My dad was second career, grad in '92, and I am 31.

Rebekah said...

I see no reason for us not to have 3+ Mothers Superior.

Christine, yay! :)

Gauntlets said...

Let's just all be Mothers Superior and have done with it. :D

Christine said...

After all, we're irreplaceable to our children. At least that's what my daughter tries to make me think at bedtime. "Don't leave me, mommy!"

Neeter said...

Pam,

You don't know me, but I am sorry! *hugs* How are you doing?

Pam said...

What I never understood before about miscarriage, now I understand.

I felt weird that I wasn't more upset at first, but now I realize that the more I think about it, the more I grieve.

We are going to have a family funeral, and bury the baby.

Sunday is Life Sunday, my favorite 'special' service theme. I may have a hard time with it.
I cry every year about the holy innocents, too, but it needs to be remembered... we have all the more innocents dying every day in this sin-sick culture.

How am I? Bittersweet.

Joy said...

Pam, I wish I could hug you. I've been crying off and on all day for the two children that were burned to death in a house fire in my town this morning, and now I learn of your loss and shed more tears. I guess that's what I do when words fail me. The "why some, not others?" question will always haunt me.

Come, Lord Jesus!!

Pam said...

Joy, thank you. I've shed my share of tears too. While I hurt and grieve for the loss of a child whom I will never hear cry, nurse contentedly, or cradle tenderly, far more sorrowful than little souls committed to the Savior's arms are tthe many, many souls who would not cry over these things... whose hearts are not breaking over the intentional murder of so many little lambs like the one of ours now held securely in Jesus' bosom.

Let us not only cry, but cry out!!

The Rebellious Pastor's Wife said...

I can add my name to the professed, though God has given us two that I am blessed to watch run about, three in Heaven between them, and none (that I know about) since my daughter was born 6 1/2 years ago. (my heart goes out to those who have lost recently. I know for a fact that the pain doesn't go away in a month).

Getting to this stage in the game, I'd have to say that I am kind of enjoying feeling like I am moving toward a different stage of the game (so there is the staying up awake at night) -- but my husband and I are committed to not doing anything to actually prevent conception, and we trust that we will be blessed if it does happen