07 October 2008

Some ground rules

1. If I don't know you, don't try to touch my baby. Just because I occasionally look pleasant doesn't mean I won't bite you if you reach for my baby.

2. If I do know you and you would like to touch my baby, please confine yourself to playing with his feet. They are just as pudgily squeezable as his hands, and less likely to go directly into his mouth along with the germs from everyone whose hands you just shook. Stroking his punk-spiky hair is also a fun, acceptable alternative.

3. If I do let you hold my baby, don't interpret that as permission to offer him your fingers to suck. Do I know where your fingers have been? Do you even know? There's a reason I attach a pacifier to him when he gets passed around. (Exception clause: Grandparents With Clean Fingers.)

Need I add how immensely (albeit discreetly) gleeful I am when BabyGuy glurks on Scofflaw Babysnatchers?


Joy said...

People just don't get it, do they? I don't know if being the PW gives parishioners some sense of ownership over my babies, or if they're uber-determined to invade my space because my newborns are always in a sling and they know it's because I don't want them touching my baby. Regardless, there's no polite way to tell them to suck their own fingers!

Dakotapam said...

The answer, in a word,baby sling, with toes poking out.

Gauntlets said...

If I may:

4. Upon being snatched, my baby will likely begin to cry. This is not your cue to rush away from me, his mother, in hopes that he will forget me and turn to you for comfort. It is, however, your cue to gently return him to me, turn tail, and run. I like the smell of Napalm in the morning.

Jane said...

What is it with people thinking babies should suck fingers.

Sorry, that really grosses me out.

And toes are one of the cutest parts
of baby, anyway.

William Weedon said...

Goodness! It would never occur to me allow a baby to suck on a finger (if the baby were not mine; and if the baby WERE mine, I'd sure try to let it suck on a pacifier instead. ICK!). My basic rule when borrowing a baby for a cuddle: if rooting is going on, crying won't be far behind, and so it's time to reluctantly fork the tyke over to the momma before the cries of "NOT THE MOMMA!" erupt and the child becomes inconsolable.

Rebekah said...

I can vouch for Father Weedon as a skilled and courteous holder of babies. I'm actually thrilled when he shows up because I know I'll have my hands free for a while. :D

I believe La Leche League recommends finger sucking over baby plugs in the interest of avoiding that mystic monster, Nipple Confusion. (cue ominous sounding violas and harpsichords)

MooreMama said...

I have a New Native Sling, purposly purchased for trips Out In Public to keep the Public's yukky germy breath offa my baby. (In order to breathe on her, the Public would have to put it's face uncomfortably close to my chest area.) I especially like that she snuggles in and sleeps so contentedly that (to date) no one has had the gall to assume that I'm taking her out so that they can touch her. I also have a bottle of instant hand sanitizer in her diaper bag to hand to any approved member of the not-so-general public that I am considering letting hold her.

I do have to say that I bite my tongue every time my MIL tells my baby that she's really not all that hungry and doesn't she want to play with Grandma and oh, my goodness, she's ALWAYS either sleeping or hungry... I WISH sometimes that the BabyMoore glurked!