6. DO NOT FEED MY KIDS ANYTHING.
7. Even that! Especially that!
8. Yes, I'm mean.
9. If you think you must feed my kid something, ASK ME FIRST.
Still confused? Allow me to explain. Some kids are picky. Mine are not. They will eat anything. They will eat everything. They will eat themselves sick. They will eat if their bellies already hurt. They will eat themselves explosive. Only one of them is beginning to develop an off switch. And the baby is a BABY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD DO NOT FEED HIM ANYTHING!!!!
(And although I cite non-pickiness as the reason my children must not be fed by anyone but me, I would guess that parents of picky children don't want you squandering their kids' limited willingness to participate in consumptive life on whatever schwat it amuses you to stuff into them.)
Furthermore. We have a house rule about treats and vegetables. So don't give my kid a treat if she hasn't met the requirements for it. I don't undermine your attempts at good parenting when your back is turned. Also, I'm sorry if you don't consider the treats we have around here treat-worthy. Feel free to eat all the treats you like at your own house. Please note that my children are quite happy and sturdily constructed without having Tootsie Rolls crammed down their gullets all day.
If you still don't get it, ask yourself, do I want someone feeding my precious Fluffy the chocolate bars and pork rinds she so enjoys when I love her too much to give her anything other than her Iams® Veterinary Formulas Weight Control D - Optimum Weight Control™?
By the way: many kids have allergies, so you should never feed someone else's kid anything anyway.
Finally. If you feed my kid something messy behind my back and I'm still trying to get the stain out of what was a perfectly good article of clothing, please know that I am thinking mean thoughts about you every time I go at it with yet another stain remover.