A while ago I had occasion to interact with a lady who has one child, a two-year-old. She is radiant and beautiful and bouyant and charming and stylish. She is obviously younger than I am, even though I know technically she has two or three years on me. Why do five kids make me older than she is? I don't know, but they do.
The pressures on the young were ones under which I never bore up well, so it's just as well. It is much easier to be a slouchy mother of five than a young female with her necessarily included anxieties. My actual age is, comparatively, irrelevant. My age is "I have five kids."
13 comments:
I think you are correct. I had four kids at 30, infant to 8, and I was often treated as older or as a mentor by women who were older than me, but had one preschooler. My age now is "I have four teens and twenty-somethings." (And somehow that feels younger than "I have four kids under 10. :D )
On the opposite extreme, I always think it's interesting when I walk into a store with my five children and the girl working there who is obviously much younger than myself, says "Hi, Sweetie, what can I do for you?". It's happened to me numerous times at totally unrelated places. I mean, is that the new word people are trained to address women customers as? Or, is it that anyone who has five children obviously does not know what's going on and therefore must be "patronized"? I just rise above and decide not to "patronize" them right back.
>> Why do five kids make me older than she is? I don't know, but they do.
Now, for older I read "calmer", or "less anxious", and my guess for the reason is that, while she may be...
>> ...radiant and beautiful and buoyant and charming and stylish..
which is quite a card to play in the game of life--so to speak--you're the one with 5 aces!
oh phew, I'm still young, guess I better enjoy this while I only have 3! ;) hilarious.
Im thinking closeness has something to do with it as well. I have a friend 4 yrs older than I who has one child. She is also hip, training for a triathlon, full time job outside of the home. But I have 3 kids, the oldest of whom is 4. I think I noticed wrinkles on my forehead the other day...and my skin on my hands and arms looks old...and don't even get me started on my eyes (or rather the skin all around them). sigh. If I look like this now I cant wait to see how many smile wrinkles I have by then :D
Melrose-
Wrinkly women make better grandmas. It's a proven fact.
I'm pretty sure I've been Old since three.
I have 6 children ages 8 and under. This makes me old AND senile- that explains a lot.
I like that rare occasion in which my wife and I are somewhere, accompanied only by our youngest child (right now a 2-year-old), and someone says: "Awwhhh, is this your first???"
Uhhhmmm... no, this is our seventh. Our first is that 18-year-old over their with her boyfriend. ;-)
Just goes to show, you're not as old as you feel. You're only as old as you look! :-)
You know Erich, I think it's the other way around :) I was talking to my mom a few weeks ago and said, "How is it that I have a 4 yr old mom? I don't even feel old enough to have a child, let alone a 4 yr old." And she answered, "That's the great thing about growing up, sometimes it goes so fast you miss it, you wake up 49 but still thinking you're 26...and those are the people that live the longest because they still TREAT life like they're 26."
I might have the beginnings of wrinkles that make me look old but I refuse to believe for one minute that I'm not still 22. :)
I was looking at some old pictures the other day and it occurred to me that I looked good. By old, I mean the last time I actually got dressed up when I was newly pregnant with E. I look in the mirror now and see someone old, worn down and out. I don't necessarily think it has to do with the number of kids. I think it has to do more with the quantity and quality of sleep from the kid or kids and how hard you have to battle him/her/them every day in contests of will. Compliant kids make for younger moms.
I, in my vanity, refuse to consider myself old with 4, just more experienced (having my first one at 33 does actually make me older than many moms though). We aren't old ladies, just more experienced (ok, I'm not convinced either, but oh, well). I agree with you mz, lack of sleep definitely makes me feel old.
Oops, can't punctuate, that should be "We aren't old, ladies, ..." not "We aren't old ladies...".
Children keep us young.
When our youngest was born we were 46 - we got on an elevator and a lady said "This must be your first and proceeded to tell us what to expect and what we should do to care for him." We didn't tell her he was #13 - we just smiled - guess we didn't look TOO old. Debbie S.
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