01 March 2012

Fakest thou until makest thou

Every time we add a new one, I am afflicted for a while with a subliminal panic. It's the same feeling I remember from stepping up to speak in front of a big room jammed with people, or being handed a test on which the only English words are "translate" and "parse." If it could talk, it would say, "Oh no. I can't do this! HELP HELP HELP!"

How many babies do we have now? How can I possibly keep track of them all? HELP HELP HELP!

But the task is at hand. Start the speech; I know what I have to say. Answer the easiest question; then do the one before and the one after. Settle this one down, pull that one up, ask the next to bring me the book, start reading like nothing has changed. They'll never know. Ignore the panic as well as I can, and before long my part will be just like last time when the room was small and nearly empty, or when the questions were about the alphabet. But--if I nail it--there will be more laughter and clapping, and more satisfaction in a hard-earned good performance.

(And as we all know, the only way to nail it is to crash 9000 times during practice. :P )


Frances said...

yes! agreed. I had someone ask me the other day how I am managing all these small ones. I said I have no idea; I'm genuinely surprised at the end of the day that everyone got fed and we survived. One step at a time...This season will close and we, as a family, to be in a different time in life, but for now, my prayers consist solely of "Help, Jesus!".

Reb. Mary said...

There is a totally unauthorized and very enthusiastic craft happening on our kitchen table right now. I am just pretending that it's part of the plan, and everyone is happy. (And that's with only .5 of a new addition.)

Anonymous said...

Keep fakin it girl. You are awesome.

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy this blog.

However, I have no idea what this post is about!!


Rebekah said...

Sorry, Anon, I missed you down here. Every time we add a new KID.