08 March 2012

"Thin and separate. There should be two."

One piece of advice I got from a seasoned mom when I was just starting out was that it wasn't worth the energy and grief to worry about how irreparably scraggly I looked all the time. Instead, she counseled, I should pick one small thing about my appearance that was always well controlled. Hers was her nails. Even when she had a toddler and infant twins, she worked hard to make that sure her nails were done to her liking all the time.

I am very low maintenance in terms of personal grooming, which you know if you've seen me, but this still struck me as good advice. Nails aren't a huge concern to me, but eyebrows are. Or, more accurately, eyebrow is. Maintaining my eyebrow (hereinafter  "eyebrows") is not just a matter of personal dignity, but public courtesy. I have pallid skin and dark hair which is committed to concentrating its growth efforts just behind my glasses. If there were an eyebrow subsidiary to Locks of Love, I'd be their star donor. To give my eyebrows free rein is simply antisocial. So whenever I've got a crew in the bath, I clean the bathroom and then get those caterpillars under control. Voila! I've taken time for my appearance like an actual woman and made the world a better place.

Find a thing, girls. If it can help even a trainwreck of feminine aspect like me, it will surely be of value to you.

It just doesn't work for all of us.


Gauntlets said...

There was this Mexican restaurant we would go to back when we lived in Texas and went to restaurants. It had a huge, terribly huge fresco of Kahlo on its back wall. She would glower imperiously at me as I ate my vegetarian fare, and I could hear her sneer, "Lo, mortal; you try, but you fail."

But then I broke my long vegetarian fast in that restaurant, and upon seeing this she never bothered me again. Ha! Frida! I defy you!

end crazy.

pekoponian said...

I'm like you, only my eyebrows don't grow together as much as they grow down either side of the bridge of my nose giving me a perpetual scowl if I don't do my eyebrow abatement. Still, after watching my mom go through chemo and lose hers, I'm glad to have them even though they must be kept on a short leash.

Elizabeth said...

Ha!!! I like this post! I haven't thought about my eyebrows for a while, but my one thing is also my dorky thing. I have 80's bangs and I like them.

Anonymous said...

We won't even comment on the evil mustache--the bane of the brunette's existence.