22 April 2009

Maternal instinks

I have no maternal intuition. I never know if I'm pregnant until I've taken a test. I don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl or quadruplets. I don't know if it will be born early or late. I don't dream about what it will look like (I do dream, but my dreams are never right, which is good since they're usually horrible). When I'm nursing, the dairy is all business. No problems arise from the sound, smell, sight, or thought of the baby. Too long of a break is the only factor for a bosom so cold as mine.

Worse, I don't trust myself to do any of those heroic things mothers do in horrible situations. If a refrigerator fell on one of my kids, my adrenal glands wouldn't swoop to the rescue so I could lift it. I would stand there with my mouth open and my brain frozen. If a truck came barreling down our street into our yard, I would probably automatically curl myself up into a ball and never even think about protecting the kids. They would just get flattened.

I am hopelessly self-serving and self-preserving. Four kids into this and all that nurturing I hear so much about still hasn't kicked in.

8 comments:

Melrose said...

Well thanks, you made us part time nurturers feel WAY better about ourselves! At least I'm not like Rebekah!! ;) hardy-har-har

Marie said...

Well, I didn't, and still don't have many instincts about our first... But I do about the second, so there's still hope for you! Maybe your fifth, or sixth, or seventh (or eighth, or ninth, or tenth!=)

I think I'd cower, too, if there was danger... but I believe that's put within us because we *might* be pregnant at any given time! Hey, we might be running away from the big ones, but we can still nurture the possible one within=)

Gauntlets said...

Funny, I've become less a-pitter-pat the more children I've had.

Though I'm still plenty angry. I trust this emotion will handle, if not the truck, then its driver.

If only I were 7 feet tall.

PS -- I really hate random, I'm-not-nursing-right-now let down. I really, really hate it.

Joy said...

I let down when I hear any baby cry. The past two times it was at a restaurant and Wal-Mart. Lovely.

But like Rebekah, I'm clueless when preggo and only have bad dreams about my fetuses. I know from experience that when there's danger, I run to intervene, but this isn't necessarily a good thing if I'm pregnant or have one in arms.

Anyone know how to make a 5-mo-old stop crawling? The other day she was laying on her tummy in the crib and got both hands on top of the rail. Good grief! Choking hazards, begone!

Rebekah said...

Gauntlets, please. We call that the Milk Ejection Reflex. There are no letdowns in breastfeeding.

Kelly said...

nak...

i beg to differ. an 8 month old with 6 teeth and no qualms about using them can be classified as a letdown right? :O

Reb. Mary said...

Kelly, yikes!!!

I generally think of myself as fairly instinct-devoid too. But let some non-related person make some sort of comment about one of my kids (such as describing a reserved child as "pill" for not always wanting to smile on cue for a picture, sit next to non-related person in church, etc.), and ROAR... Does that count for something? :P

Pam said...

Don't give up hope, Rebekah. It may come yet. Marie may be right...seventh, eighth, etc...

Wisdom and, perhaps, maternial intuition, may come with age and experience.

At least for me, it's been a process of development, and some aspects are universal to all children, while some are specific to my own.

Kelly, BTDT, more than once, and yeah, OUCH. :oP