16 April 2009

Appearances can be deceiving, but only to the stupid

This is a public service announcement.

The external appearance of a woman's body is, in nearly all cases, NO INDICATOR WHATSOEVER of her ability to conceive, carry, deliver, and breastfeed a child. To think and say otherwise is idiotic.

Next time you're thinking of prophesying that a smaller woman you know is doomed on the basis of her size to infertility, miscarriages, or c-sections, ask yourself, would I be saying this if she were 20 pounds heavier or five inches taller? Then ask, does extra weight or height make a person healthier or stronger? Then shut your stupid mouth.

Contrariwise, refrain from saying that a particular woman was "built to be a mother." We all are, thank you: tall or short, curvaceous or straight, substantial or slight, proportional or lopsided. And those who learn of externally invisible flaws in their build don't need your ill-informed comments making them feel worse about it.

Stop acting shocked when a small woman gives birth to a large baby, or a large woman gives birth to a small baby. Both are well within the range of normalcy, and totally out of the woman's control. One of your humble blogresses has even committed her maternal career to demonstrating this.

Do your part to encourage breastfeeding in our obtuse society by refusing to propagate the moronic and completely false notion that size and production capacity are in any way related.

And next time you think of saying that someone doesn't look like she's had a kid, two kids, four kids, seven kids, see if you can't come up with a positive compliment which does not denigrate the physically demanding office of mother and insult those who humbly bear its marks more plainly.

9 comments:

Tena said...

*applause*

Christopher Gillespie said...

"And next time you think of saying that someone doesn't look like she's had a kid, two kids, four kids, seven kids, see if you can't come up with a positive compliment which does not denigrate the physically demanding office of mother and insult those who humbly bear its marks more plainly."

Well said. I apologize to all those women out there I've insulted over the years.

Joy said...

Christopher, you may insult me any time! No one has EVER told me (even before kids!) that I don't look like I've had kids. Guess I'm one of those who bear the marks quite plainly. But that's okay; it was the cure for vanity that I was in need of.

I'd also like to add that no one should ask a woman if she's pregnant reardless of how round her tummy is. When you see a head crowning, you may ask.

Joy said...

PS: Hey, go see Mossback.

lisa said...

Hahah Chris, I'm sure you've been long forgiven.

If you want to hear someone put their foot in it - here it is.... I read this last week:

"Luther for his part gave preference to firm-bosomed women as able to nourish children best. Large breasts, he said, 'promise much and deliver little.'"

Very scientific research here :)

Gauntlets said...

Well. And I was just fixin' to dole out a big dose of hellfire on this very topic. Better it was you. :D

Rebekah said...

Joy, one of my favorite Gauntlets memories is when someone observed her impressively 8 months pregnant belly and asked, "Oh, are you expecting?" and she, deadpan, looked him in the eye and said, "No."

Lisa, that made my whole week. :D Love that Luther guy.

Gauntlets, the hellfire would mean so much more from you. Dole it anyway.

Joy said...

Rebekah (et. Gauntlets): LOL!! At least the poor chap ASKED if you were expecting. My offenders just assume it and ask when I'm due. Maybe next time I'll look 'em dead in the eye and say, "Last week."

Never listen to a man about breastfeeding. Never.

Beth said...

**Stands up to applaude, almost dumps her baby off her lap, quickly recovers, continues applauding***