The temptation to contemn motherhood lies in the endeavor's egalitarianism. Any woman can be a mother, even if she is simple or ugly. This insults the pride of the intelligent, beautiful, ambitious, and/or stylish. A stupid person can do this job, and I'm not stupid, so I shouldn't have to do it . . . Why risk this statuesque body for work that can be done by some squatty gargoyle in a jumper? . . . They'll be happier if I'm doing what makes me happy . . . .
We want from our children only that which feeds our own egos. We'll take credit for their beautiful hair and voices and intellects, but we're insulted by their need for us. Their virtues are ours with which to compliment and aggrandize ourselves, their care is beneath us . . . .
We do not want children beyond their utility for ourselves. Maternity is a life experience on our to-do list so that the bios of our accomplished future selves will include the requisite "two children and two grandchildren" along with the degrees, publications, Weimaraner, and love of gardening . . . .
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7 comments:
"Any woman can be a mother..."
Not necessarily.
Tack an "almost" on there--Sorry So Sloppy. But I do not intend to exclude those who come to motherhood by non-biological means. I think the only women in our society who are truly excluded from motherhood are the infertile poor.
Thank you, and forgiven.
My husband does a good job of loving me - but honestly, it was my daughter's love that truly humbled me. I was struck by her undisguised need for me. It was almost offensive how much she physically and emotionally desired ALL of me - my body (annoying) and my (trouble-shooting baby-illness researching) mind and almost most troublingly, my very soul. She wanted my love and she was NOT shy. She was aggressive and pushy and ABRASIVE. Sometimes I DIDN'T want to cuddle. Like I said, I was somewhat offended, but then God gave me some humility and I've been working on developing it ever since.
Everything I've lost (worth having) I've gained back twentyfold. Everything else - good riddance to bad rubbish - I was never that hot/fun/intelligent/witty/_insert alleged virtue here_ to begin with, so better the internal-illusion died.
Now - onto "women shall be saved by childbirth"....
And please, let's not be silly about what that OBVIOUSLY does not mean.
Thanks for being so honest Rebekah.
Weimaraner = :D
Lisa, why don't they get it that demanding affection makes us that much less inclined to give it? :/
I don't know. I guess because they're sweet (self-centered:) babies who don't know better. I try to teach my daughter that I'm a total jerk who'd rather read than play blocks, but she still always desires my lap.
Maybe she read the parable about the persistent widow? She is rather advanced for her age... ;)
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