07 March 2008

The byzantine psychology of husbands

I've heard from various Sulvan friends that they'd consider having more kids, but their husbands are resistant. When I asked why, a popular rationale was that he doesn't want her to have to go through all that again. Wow, what a great guy! He loves his wife so much that even though she's theoretically up for it, he can't bring himself to subject her to more inconvenience and pain, sleepless nights and chaotic days. I'm not really being sarcastic here. Every wife wants to be cherished and protected and the object of her husband's adoration, which is exactly what this scenario indicates. So everybody wins. Mom is adored, Dad's sensitivity earns him all kinds of admiration, and nobody has to get up in the middle of the night.

But wait! My husband isn't a jerk, yet he somehow musters the strength to put me through the baby wringer on a regular basis! What gives? I decided to ask some hard questions.

He laughed. "They're just afraid she'll get fat if she keeps having kids." Really? That's it? "Yes."

I don't know, it seems to me there could be other motivations. But he was pretty insistent on the point.

8 comments:

Gauntlets said...

Laughing. Funny.

We're so lucky our husbands like us plump like those turkeys grown in time for Thanksgiving, the ones that can't walk for all the weight they carry.

Rebekah said...

LOL, totally. Good thing I look so great in sweat pants.

Reb. Mary said...

Laughing. Crying.

Well, you know how "they" say that men tend to get bored with just one woman. We CSPPers are keeping our men from getting bored by presenting a ever-changing variety of body shapes, to nothing of our, um, exciting emotional states.

Reb. Mary said...

Laughing. Crying.

Well, you know how "they" say that men tend to get bored with just one woman. We CSPPers are keeping our men from getting bored by presenting a ever-changing variety of body shapes, to nothing of our, um, exciting emotional states.

Reb. Mary said...

I've also noticed that husbands tend to thrive on receiving a certain amount of attention. More children obviously means a smaller piece of the pie (literal, and of Mom's attention) for Dad. So maybe that plays into the Sulvan dad's "sensitivity" too...

Gauntlets said...

I like the shape shifting aspect of man-pleasing. Never really thought of it like that before . . . You know? We should really write a book: "Ways to Make Your Man Happier"

Here's another one I've actually heard a Sulvan dad say:

"I know birth control is not God's will, but I can't see how being poor is either."

Oh! The dilemma!

Rebekah said...

Excellent point RM. My husband must be thrilled with his wide array of options: pregnant wife; chubby wife; shriveled, sagging wife . . . .

Gauntlets, I'm sure if that dude had ever been pregnant or given birth he'd understand that they couldn't possibly be God's will either.

Pr. H. R. said...

Reminds me of a good line from Pr. Petersen: What I like so much about God is that he always agrees with me.

+HRC