From Pastor Weedon:
[God] wants us to be holy so that we may be truly blessed; and blessedness is even better than happiness. I'd stand by that: blessedness doesn't ride on the ups and downs of our emotions. It rises above them. And since God often uses adversity and trials to give us growth in holiness (yes, holiness is given you whole and entire in your Baptism, but I refer to growing up into the salvation that is yours), there are times of sadness that come our way on this path toward the fuller inner appropriation of that holiness which results in blessedness.
I know this is one of those things someone out there thinks someone such as myself should never think or say, but the truth is that there are days when I pretty much don't feel happy until I'm in bed again. And then in that bed at the end of that day, I roll over and thank my husband for the wonderful life he's given me and tell him I am happy. Because even when I don't feel happy I am happy. I'm happy that there are certain things about which I will never have to wonder. I'm happy that there are certain regrets (or at least certain magnitudes of regret) I know I won't have. I'm happy that I have six baptized children even though life with them can sometimes land me back in bed having felt only inadequate and furious and unappreciated and imprisoned and sinful pretty much since I got out of it. If you could spy on my face during the day you might see clouds on it. So I'm sorry you can't see past the false strength of those clouds into the blazing sun that is my soul. I often feel sad, but I still consider myself happy because I know I am blessed.
And I don't want to burn you.
8 comments:
"Blessed" in the Amplified Bible is amplified as "happy, fortunate, to be envied."
I certainly know that this life I live is a fortunate one and to be envied, but there are not many days I feel anywhere near enviable. However I too "consider myself happy because I know I am blessed."
Thank you for the reminder. Today, only the clouds appeared in the mirror, I had forgotten what was behind them.
Amen. Write a book, Woman! You have such a great way with words.
I have been thinking lately how blessed I am. Not always necessarily happy according to world's standards, but very happy in the blessed sense and despite the trials. Thanks for another excellent post! I've loved every post on this blog the past week - thanks, ladies! :)
Couldn't have said it better in a million years. You are not alone, not by a long shot.
Funny that another mom blog I read posted on the same: feminagirls.com
But more law. Less gospel.
The language has slipped, and the meaning of 'happy' along with it. Thank you for the good definition. I love
"...in that bed at the end of that day, I roll over and thank my husband for the wonderful life he's given me" and, I too am extremely thankful that there are certain things about which I will never have to wonder. Thank you.
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