04 October 2011

Childbirth Orthodoxy Translation

And it came to pass, as [Rachel's] soul was in departing (for she had special circumstances) that she called his name Benhazak: but his father called him Benjamin. Genesis 35:18

The need to trust their bodies took hold upon them there, and powerful sensations, as of a woman breathing down her baby. Psalm 48:6

Therefore are my loins filled with pressure: surges have taken hold upon me, as the surges of a woman that birtheth Isaiah 21:3

I have long time holden my peace; I have been still, and refrained myself: now will I vocalize like a woman experiencing uterine waves Isaiah 42:14

For we know that the whole creation chanteth and worketh hard toward the natural expulsive reflex together until now. Romans 8:22

And she being with child produced harmonics, deeply relaxing in birth, and visualizing to be delivered. Revelation 12:2

Quit scaring women, you medicalizing medicalizer!


Gauntlets said...

Good point about Rachel. But she was one of those primitive types, so what did she know?

Utopia, man; it's out there.

Untamed Shrew said...

But till then, you must destroy and devour at once.

Leah said...

Uterine waves? She produced harmonics? Deeply relaxing?

Maybe I just didn't do something right...

Untamed Shrew said...

Okay, we're still trying to figure out where you were going with Benhazak.

Melrose said...

I'm with leah. Try:

ripping out your intestines, producing roaring screams, so deeply in pain that death feels near, oh yea, and as for the "breathing baby down" one, try pushing so hard you feel as if you're ripping in two just to get the giant watermelon OUT.

But I suppose that's not exactly happy talk for those of us so near birth...sigh.

Rebekah said...

hazak=strength (cf. Hezekiah)

Leah, I know there's no hope for me doing it right because I can't read stuff like that without laughing or kicking someone.

Untamed Shrew said...

Darn Hebrew vowels.

Melrose said...

lol, Rebekah, when I read your last comment to Leah I was imagining you kicking someone while you were in labor rather than after reading something like that. And I have to say, one of my favorite things about women sharing birth stories afterwards are the hysterical things they do towards the end.

Case in point: I had a very reserved midwife my first pregnancy. She was just sweetness and calm. She later confessed to me, after the birth of my first, that transition has a way of making her "curse like a sailor". I laughed in disbelief and my doula who works with her shook her head and said, "No, she's not kidding, this lady screams and curses for the whole world to hear!" Well, I may not have THAT reaction to labor but that doesn't mean I haven't considered it :D