24 May 2010

Seventh sense

I have a psychic-like ability to smell poo. I can smell it here, there, anywhere. I can smell your baby's diaper right now.

Remote poo smelling, it's what I do. If you need me, you know where to find me.

Try not to feel jealous.

8 comments:

Rebekah said...

What about immediate poo smelling? I mean, if I've got something rank I can't triangulate, can you find it?

lisa said...

Poo sniffin' nose, Poo sniffin' nose
Finding what's ripe, underneath those clothes
Gauntlet's got it, there she goes -
Poo sniffin' nose

Is it a poo, or is it a fluff?
Is baby done? Has she strained enough?
Gauntlets will tell you, this job is rough!
Poo sniffin' nose...

(dance with me!)

On behalf of Mother's For the Timely Changing of Diapers I congratulate you on your ministry.

(Applause)

Untamed Shrew said...

Rebekah, maybe Gauntlets can enlighten you with the "psychic-like" part. Sometimes it's helpful to smell it before it happens, kwim? :D ("Don't touch me! Don't touch anything! Stay!") ha ha ha...

Gauntlets said...

Rebekah: Remote only. But no worries: it's in the basement, by the work bench. Wait, wait ... I'm also reading something in someone's back pocket. But it might be my back pocket, so ...

I'm additionally picking up that Lisa and Shrew are funny. ;)

Reb. Mary said...

Have you also developed a tactful system for using your psychic-like sensors for public good? Like, "Lady, your kid who's got to be at least 4 just dropped the hugest bomb in his pull-up over there in the corner of the very small very stuffy dentist's waiting room and I figured this out 5 minutes ago and you are sitting there filling out your forms like nothing happened and I'm dying over here and did you know that after you finally took the kid to change him the receptionist came out with Lysol and apologized to me whilst fumigating the room in an attempt to rid it of the lingering noxious odor?"

Gauntlets said...

HA! HA HA HA! HA! I think psychic-like abilities would lead one to gag audibly in such situations, but I'm not sure. These powers are just so hard to understand.

Which is worse: the smell of kid bombs? or the smell of Lysol?

Dakotapam said...

Reb! Hilarious!

At playgroup I often smell the poo...and then a mom says "oh, is someone poopy?" And I point out that it is MATURE poop, and therefore not my kids, who she is staring at like they are the guilty party.


And the lysol smells worse than the bombs...really it does.

Rebekah said...

I think it's Lysol ON bomb that's really toxic. Bleach on pee is a related offense.