Well, the thinkable happened. Our dear,
dear, dear and only organist went home forever in September and my
heart is still broken. Also we don't have an organist any
more.
Except.
No, really, we don't. But after Dad has
begged everyone for miles around, I'm the person he comes home to. So
I have to play this Sunday and now my stomach is also broken. I can
manage the service um, serviceably, in a room with a piano by myself.
If I hear my neighbor's car door, not only my fingers but also my
elbows and shoulders and intestines turn to spaghetti. Never was a
show more unready for the road, much less the house of Almighty God.
Kyrie eleison. (At least that one's easy--and yet I can screw it up!
:P )
More than enough about me. The point is
that as I practice and practice and practice, all the while thinking
miserably of my brothers and sisters here whose ears I will soon
offend so grievously* and in such malapropos surroundings, my only
comfort is that they ARE my brothers and sisters. Our parish is a
family not in some feel-good spiritual metaphor. Behold, I tell you
no mystery: we put up with each other's cooking and eat the leftovers
until they're gone. When it's someone else's turn to clean, we let
them do it their way even though they do it all wrong. We work like
maniacs at screwy schemes to generate some cash and keep this
operation operational. We make sure no one else could use something
we'd rather just throw away, and we do our best to wear hand-me-downs
with more thanks than pickiness. We put up with that awful racket
because she's the only fake organist we've got and, who knows, maybe
she'll get better if she keeps at it? Everyone is always invited, the
bratty kids and the jerk chicks and the crazy dudes and the grumbly
grandmas, because this place is our Father's house and our home.
Smile for the camera, everybody.
Oh I miss Bonnie so much.
*this is not fake modesty here. I am truly terrible, and I feel truly terrible about it. :(
11 comments:
Hang in there, Rebekah. You may not be Bonnie, but you are the Lord's organist this Sunday. Just remember it is about the Lord's song, and, once you start to play, forget technique and just focus the song itself. Regardless of how many or how few notes you play, if you remember that your task is to evoke, summon, encourage, and accompany that song, you'll do fine. Because they have the song in them. All you need to do is facilitate things and let them sing. In other words, "don't worry, just play!" :)
Oh, yes, that reminds me . . . .
http://roundunvarnishedtale.blogspot.com/2011/04/just-play.html
This coming Sunday I'll be at Edwardsville Presbyterian with the in-laws; everyone there is kind and lovely, but I'd much rather be receiving Word and Sacrament while listening to you play the liturgy :)
I know that feeling only too well. I was forced into being an organist because my dad was the pastor, and I'd had two years of piano lessons... when I was like 13. I might have been scarred for life, but I also ended up an organist, for better or worse, and it really has gotten better over the last 7 years. And like you, I was blessed with a church family who didn't judge my sad performance of not even playing just the melody right and nothing else. They loved me regardless of my failings, and in such a community full of forgiveness and love, you can't help but get better.
Did you offer to accompany on euphonium instead?
I too was a reluctant pianist-turned-organist. Like Philip said, just play. Nothing fancy, even just the melody if you need to. The congregation knows the hymns. THey just need someone to lead. You can do it. And God bless you for being willing to try.
I will be praying for you to have god's peace.
[Sorry--"God's" not "god's"]
Thank you for the encouragement, everyone. I truly appreciate it and I will be holding these words in my mind when the fateful time comes (at which point I'd rather be at Edwardsville Presbyterian). Euphonium don't get no respect!
To simplify, leave out the alto and tenor. Better good and less than more and worse! God bless you!
I tell all new organists: the point is to keep everyone in the same key and at the same tempo. Just don't ask about my tempos that fluctuate based on my health and the years that I kept trying to give the Nunc Dimitis an F sharp.
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