19 January 2012

Cloudy with a 100% chance of meatballs somewhere they shouldn't be

Occasionally someone offers me an encouraging word about "seasons." I get the impression that this is Evangelicalspeak, although I don't know the origin. Apparently its essential meaning is, "Someday you'll be doing something else. This is OK for now."

Here's where I'm going to speak freely and if it's going to make you disgusted with my various personal failures and/or my failure to represent whatever cause you think I am or should be representing you may be excused . . . .

Our family doesn't have baby years and little kid years and school years and teen years. Or rather, we do, but they all occur at the same time instead of in the nice organized increments everyone else does their best to get them. Where I live, it's Pregnant/Baby season for a lot longer than most of these climatological well-wishers have ever had it. My older children travel through their lives while I tag along, dragging the two youngest as well as I can. Pregnant/Baby season is always working to trump everything else that is going on. I can bust my tail trying to beat it, but I don't always beat it, and sometimes I feel so bad for that droopy old tail I don't even try to bust it.

Blessed as Pregnant/Baby season is, I'm no more keen on it from a certain perspective than all the people who gave it up after two or three weather cycles. When one lives in a temperate zone the end is always in sight; the seasons are manageable and kind of charming. But this zone I'm in just isn't temperate. It's all monsoons here, and I've been cowering in my hut for a lot longer than a lovely Midwest fall.

A really, really, really long time to cast away stones.


Elizabeth said...

"Someday you'll be doing something else. This is OK for now." I think this comes from the same crowd who have children because it's a status symbol or because they feel they should - it's just the thing to do. You know, the ones who are too smart and have achieved too much in their field to stoop to staying at home/pregnant/parenting indefinitely. Because when do they get to get back to doing what they like/want? When this season is (finally) over, of course.

Thanks for this post - really struck home with me today.

Rosie said...

This song:


doesn't get it.

It's true that "it won't be like this for long" with the current baby/toddler. But, Lord willing, there will probably be more babies/toddlers to fill that role once she's moved out of this stage.

Of course the Lord could decide otherwise. He may not create another life in my womb. Or He may return tomorrow.

But the point is, we are prepared for it to "be like this" for several more years. So Darius Rucker is not all that helpful. Boo.

lisa said...

I've received "this is only for a season" language quite often from older mothers who understand what I'm suffering on my bad days. It's been comforting for me. Although, after reading your thoughts here, I can see how "seasons" language may leave a woman thinking of being stationed in Thailand during the rainy season and being told, "No worries, hon . . ." I mean, ok, but twenty years is a long. time. :D

I've used the "seasons" language a good bit. Sometimes folks have offered me their admiration-tinged condolences and in those moments of debilitating social-awkwardness I've just mustered a shrug and resigned, "This is the season of my life right now." I guess I'm saying, "Well, what else would I be doing? I am 30 and married, so . . . ?" God made women to bear. So I bear. As predictable as summer and autumn, so are my marriage and its fruit. Maybe this is a different usage? I don't know.

I wish you some restful and quiet moments sprinkled here and there as you fight the good fight. May He continually shelter us all under His wing until His golden season arrives and ease the pain of tagging along as tasks and children slip out of our hands.

The Mama said...

I always thought the seasons language came from Ecclesiastes 3.

Leah said...

My sisters-in-law often joke (lament? ;) that they have two families. Adult kids and little kids. They deal in different worlds simultaneously. Kids already graduated and kids not even in school yet. Then you get what happens in our church school where there are lots of big families, kids with an uncle or aunt in the next classroom. Crazy... but fun!

So when some of the older moms in our church tell the younger ones, "Enjoy this season, because it won't last," what they mean is enjoy the time when you're not yet a schizophrenic. :)

Believe it or not, I'm already beginning to know what they mean. And I know exactly what you mean about the Pregnant/Baby mindset (bodyset? ;) trumping the others. Ach, it's tough. Lord help us!

(funny you should mention this - I was already drafting a post on this exact subject! ;)

Rebekah said...

The Mama, yeah, but they say it like it's some kind of cultural Stichwort out of a book I'm supposed to have read. Like "margin" or "boundaries" or "love language." ?

Melrose said...

well if this is just a season then I'm bringing chocolate along, and LOTS of it.

After all if this is a "short season that passes far too quickly" and is really that quick then it shouldn't damage my health too much right? :D

The Mama said...

Oh, well, in that case, there are a number of popular woohoo books on the subject. I haven't read any because I don't have time to read things that are of that sort, but I've seen them discussed. Mae culpa!