11 March 2009

Analysis

The first couple of years of CSPP were rough. The truth is I'd secretly been hoping I'd inherited an old family heirloom, low fertility, which would give me a comparatively easy ride through this zany confession I got yanked into. Bad Rebekah. Our first two kids were 18.5 months apart. I know there are people whose spacing is even tighter, and I loved our superior babies, but Concordian Sisters are always doing math in their heads. A kid every 18 months for the next 15 years? What if it's even longer than 15 years?! The meltdowns were melty. Like a Taco Bell commercial, only angrier.

The next few kids had a somewhat wider spread, and I've also mentioned how having older ones around really stabilizes the family unit. I've calmed down. I can't remember when my last full-on meltdown was (Dad could probably tell you). I've recovered my sense of humor enough to say completely insane things around our extended family to lovingly help them get past their shock and prepare for more baby announcements. I'd say I've plateaued.

But if things keep going this way . . . I'm not ruling more meltdowns out of my future. For some reason 35 sticks in my mind as the age past which I'm going to get really unstable again at the prospect of baby after baby after baby. I think members of our extended family can get their minds around the idea of six or seven babies, but 8+ would probably be difficult for them.

Holy cow. 8+? Difficult for them?? A 20-year-old when I'm sixty? 63?! My years are not my own. None of them.

12 comments:

The Rev. BT Ball said...

There was a baptism here two weeks ago of a newborn. Mom is 43, dad is 44. The child's sister stood godmother at age 17. So you can think of how your older children might be sponsors for your younger ones.
BB

Reb. Mary said...

I've been meaning to compliment you on your enviable mental stability :D

I don't think I've quite plateaued, but as I look back, I see more complete freak-outs in the distant rather than the near past, relatively speaking. If you'd told me (and you probably did) even 18 months ago that I'd have attained this level of dubious equilibrium by now, I would have found it hard to believe.

Um, this was supposed to be a positive and uplifting comment. Did it come off that way? To any new(er)bies out there, it does indeed get better :)

Reb. Mary said...

P.S. It will help my equilibrium immensely if you stop saying things about having a 20-year-old when 60 :P

I'm in awe of the simultaneous-daughter-and-granddaughter-scenario (a la Stuckwisch!)...as in, awesome and inspiring to see in their family, unfathomable to contemplate in ours! One at a time, right?!

Marie said...

My mind frequents these thoughts, as well. And my husband is nine years older than I am. So, how about a 20 year old when dad is 75! Well, I guess that lots of kids ensures that I won't be a lonely widow!

Joy said...

Now that my youngest is 4 months old and the post-partum psychosis is waning, I'm not awake at night nearly so much.

Where's Gauntlets? huh? HUH?

Rebekah said...

Chatted with her this afternoon. Don't get excited. :(

Joy said...

That siphons. Melisa is chomping at the bit. She never carried past 38 weeks and she knows I hate her for it. ;)

Pr. H. R. said...

"Well, I guess that lots of kids ensures that I won't be a lonely widow!"

Exactly. The loneliest people the pastor visits are the gals in the nursing home who never married or never had kids. The lucky ones have a sibling or niece/nephew to stop in every once in a while. But most don't.

+HRC

Kelly said...

Oh good. So the meltdowns are normal. A super high needs baby has made me a derelict blogger and I've been obsessing recently about what would happen if there were to be another before she turns, oh say, 3. It doesn't bear thinking about unless I feel the need for a good fantod.

Rebekah said...

Rev BT, that is a great idea. We're sure to be out of friends by then.

Kelly, very normal. Our first baby was unbelievably high needy. The good news is that the rest have all seemed super easy compared to her--and she's also grown into a really good and helpful kid.

Mossback Meadow said...

I'm 43 and my due date was yesterday. It was a bit of a mental adjustment, but we figured we're going to be here in this house, doing these chores, enjoying family anyway. It's not like we were going to retire to Paris in a few years.
Husband's comment - "You're either living or you're dying!"

Rebekah said...

MM, keep us posted, right? You're on my list.