16 September 2008

Since we're on the topic

of repeated remarks that become rather tiresome, both of these just came up again, and I’m trying to decide which annoys me more. So, perhaps we should take a vote:

1) “I wish I could stay home with the kids, but [wistful sigh] we just can’t afford it” [uttered by persons who can’t but know that their head-of-household’s income exceeds ours].

2) “I could never stay home with the kids [because it would drive me crazy/because I need to be out doing something else]”

I was thinking that least #2 is refreshingly honest, and therefore less annoying than the people in #1 who are not being honest with themselves. But then I thought: Hey, I could never stay home with the kids either…but here I am. So I guess both statements represent a truth-talk problem. And I can’t decide which is more annoying. (Hmmm…maybe I should be thinking about something else instead? Like maybe a nice, bright response to the above? Hey, maybe I'm the only one who's small-minded enough to be annoyed by these things and you've all got brilliant responses to such inanity/insanity...by all means, share your inspiration here.)

I’ll try to be less cranky tomorrow. I know, I know: I can be tired and angry, or I can just be tired...I’m working on it...

12 comments:

Blogversary said...

I find no 2 more annoying, because there are plenty days I feel little crazy from staying home w/ kids.

We are in situation where I might just have to go and find a source of income. If that happens, I will be saying no 1 and meaning it.

Reb. Mary said...

I probably should have added that there are times when #1 is true, and hence ok to say...we might be there too at some point. And as for being crazy, I'm already there :P

Joy said...

I vote for door #1, because everyone I know who says that simply doesn't want to compromise their ridiculous standard of living: fake hair/nails, 3 or 4 cars for a 2-driver family, eating out all the time, expensive hobbies, must-have ammenities like designer clothes, the latest electronic gadget and 100 cable channels.... Do they honestly never stop and realize they've forfeited the first tooth and word and step for all this superficial stuff?

Rebekah said...

I could never choose. I dislike everyone equally.

Pr. H. R. said...

What you should be thinking about is making your husband pie.

+HRC

Dizziness said...

"What you should be thinking about is making your husband pie."

Hint hint to my wife reading.

Number #1 is more annoying.

The Rebellious Pastor's Wife said...

Yeah, they are very annoying.

I saw a Time journalist write about that (the very nice one who did the piece on pastors' wives), and I wanted to send her a picture of my couch that had the upholstery literally peeling off of it and our one car.

I've known a family of five that lived in a one bedroom apartment in order to keep the mom home. I am amazed at some of the creativity out there in piecing together inexpensive meals and garage sale skills that would boggle the mind. It all is in what is truly important.

(not that I don't hide in the closet from my children sometimes...I can sympathize with the crazy one a bit more myself)

Joy said...

We were forced to move out of our 1-bdrm apartment when our first child turned 1, because in St. Louis there are square footage laws.

I despise the term "cottage industry", but there are so many things women can do from home to earn income without having someone else raise the kids. (well, in a way PBS raises my kids, but it's the lesser of the evils.)

MooreMama said...

I vote for door #1, because everyone I know who says that simply doesn't want to compromise their ridiculous standard of living: fake hair/nails, 3 or 4 cars for a 2-driver family, eating out all the time, expensive hobbies, must-have ammenities like designer clothes, the latest electronic gadget and 100 cable channels.... Do they honestly never stop and realize they've forfeited the first tooth and word and step for all this superficial stuff?

Or maybe the mom is the breadwinner in the family and the dad is working his way up to the point (salary-wise) where he can support the family at some point in the (hopefully near!)future. We have 2 dependable cars for a 2 driver family. We don't have (either of us ;) ) fake hair, skin, or nails. We don't have fancy, trendy clothes, expensive hobbies, electronic gadgets, OR 100 tv channels. What we do have is a house that isn't falling down and, as it turns out, we could pay the bills on DH's day-job salary but have no place to live, nothing to eat, and no insurance or I can work and we can pay our bills and save a little for emergancies/the future.

As it is, I am staring at my week old daughter and thinking that I don't know how I can possibly put her in daycare in 11 short weeks. At the same time, I'm so glad that we were able to save up the money to allow me to take off what turned out to be 17 weeks - unpaid. I know a lot of people that can only take off 4 or 6 or 8. Yes, I know that I may forfeit being the first to see the first word and step. I may not hear her first word. But I am doing what I need to in order to make sure that my child has a place to sleep and a Daddy that is home in the evenings and not working three or four jobs and coming home exausted and stressed out. My baby is not the only one in the family that needs to be supported. The mama needs the daddy. The daddy needs to be involved with the raising of the baby. It all works together and we HAVE to support each other or we all fall down. This is what works for us.

Many moons ago, some wise women chastised me for not trusting in God's Plan by taking the evil little pill every morning until I felt that we could "afford" a baby. God provides. I know this. And someday, I will be able to stay at home with my babies. But this one, at this time, will go to daycare while mama works to support our happy, healthy family and our very reasonable standard of living.

Joy said...

Mooremama,

Notice the three words "Everyone I know..." No one is judging anyone for making ends meet.

Gauntlets said...

Hey, Mooremama, for the record: You're my friend and I like you. We had to do the same thing. As I recall it, all of us subscribed CSers did. Do what you have to do. It hurts to drop your baby off at daycare, but regardless of who sees her first step you're the one seeing her through to the end.

MooreMama said...

Thanks, Gauntlets. I heart you.

Joy - Hi, I'm Jessica. Nice to meet you.