22 September 2008


I hope I (and we, but those other girls are better people than I am so I don't worry about them) never come off as ungrateful or complaining, but "never" is a strong word. We were saddened to get an email from a reader who perceived us to be judging people strictly by numbers (more on this later from Reb. Mary--please stand by). God sizes families as he sees fit, some big and some small, and sometimes with great trial and hardship. Although being an overachiever in terms of fertility has its challenges, I know that it is as pure a blessing as can be had in this life and I thank God that he has spared me the sadness of she for whom I was named. I know many Concordian Sisters who would have the same life I do if their bodies were set up for it, but they aren't. I am close to people who in several or many years of marriage have been given only two or one or no natural children. Why me? And why them? All I can do is pray that God who has blessed me so abundantly would do the same for other Concordian Sisters whose parturition hasn't been so perpetual. And I do.


Joy said...

I've never felt that you (or any CSPP) judged people. Quite the contrary. You don't assume that a woman with zero children doesn't want them, or that a woman with 8 years between two kids was trying to prevent pregnancy. I recall the words "You never know how many miscarriages she's had" from another blog.

The "Why some, not others?" question will drive you bat-crap insane if you let it. I nearly drowned in this quagmire after my miscarriage. I always ended up at the same conclusion: His ways are not our ways.

MooreMama said...

Count me amongst those "whose parturition hasn't been so perpetual". Perhaps my own struggles with infertility and Faith (and know that, at least for some of us, they go hand in hand) are what help me to see how very very Blessed I am.

I truly feel that my easy labor, overly calm baby, and lack of breastfeeding issues is some sort of payback for my own underachievement in the fertility realm. I envy those that can confidently announce, at 4 1/2 weeks pregnant, that they are "expecting" a baby in 30 weeks. I was terrified of going home with empty arms until the very end. Fortunantly, God is so good and I have a whole new set of worries to overcome.

End of day, Rebekah, I haven't felt the least bit judged by any of you. Maybe because I know Gauntlets to be one of the least judgemental or ungrateful women on the planet and I am holding you and Reb. Mary to her ridiculous yardstick...

Rebekah said...

Thanks, girls. After all, why would we restrict ourselves to judging by numbers when there are so many other things we like judging people for? ;)

For real, though, I'm sorry for all my poorly chosen words which gave wrong impressions.

MooreMama said...

I, for one, very much enjoy reserving judgement for people who choose to wear dark socks with light shoes or dot their i's with stupid little hearts.... ;)

Good thing no one was smarmy about my math skills or lack thereof in my earlier comment. I meant to say something that added up to 40 weeks.

Joy said...

I find it difficult to see past a parishioner's mullet haircut. an honest-to-God mullet. Front half plastered to her skull, back half down to her bra strap. WHY???

If I offended anyone, sorry. I sometimes dot my i's with "stupid little hearts" but I see the absurdity so I'm not offended.

I can only hope that the weeks of my pregnancy add up to 40. Last one was 42. I was die-hard on "trusting God's timing." This time I'm taking an induction at 41 and a half weeks.

MooreMama said...

I hope that the weeks of your current pregnancy add up to "only" 40. I caved and took the induction at 39. I suppose an exception could be made for the occaisional heart - you know, with your additional suffering and all.

Joy said...

The problem is, a Pit drip makes contractions extra strong and painful. This leads to an edipural, which leads to mom confined to bed, which leads to the baby going nowhere, which leads to Cesareans.

It doesn't always happen that way. With my first (an induction at 39 weeks) Pitocin led to epidural, confinement to bed, baby going nowhere, vacuum extraction and extreme tearing (40-some stitches up to my cervix). Oh, and a really lovely infection from all the internal exams during those 36 hours. TMI, but you see why I will avoid this at all cost.