My husband and I are blessed with a pacific relationship except in one regard: the naming of children. This means that we have to have a long and lasting fight about every other year. I know wives who surrender naming rights nearly completely, and couples who divide privileges on the basis of sex, but neither is the case in our house. Both of us have strong feelings about names for boys and girls.
So I share with all like-minded parents a strategy of namemanship executed by my husband, which he claims was not conceived deliberately or in malice. You will see, however, that his claim of innocence is impossible to believe.
Take a name proposed by your spouse which you do not like. Repurpose it as a designation for an imaginary and grotesque monster in your attic, and terrify your children with tales of this monster's appearance and character. Instantly, the name becomes permanently ineligible for any future child of the family.
Things like this don't happen by accident. I salute my infrequent foe for his wiliness.
14 comments:
Our children naming battles, which are always over boys' names (we seem to flow in harmony on the girls') always go something like this:
Me: "How about _____ for a name?"
Him: "I once knew a _____ who was really strange. No way."
Me: "When did know a ____? I've known all the same people as you since I was nine and you were fourteen."
Him: "Um, Little League."
Me: "Hm. Seems to me you knew an awful lot of strange kids in Little League, who all have names I like and you don't. Ok then, how about _____(a name the same as someone in our church)?"
Him: "I can't believe you want to name our son after _____!"
Me: "Not after, just the same as. They don't have the corner on the market on that name."
Him: "You mean every time I say our son's name I'll have to think of that time that _____ (same named member of church) and I did church project thingie together twenty-five years ago?? No. Can't do it."
Me: "Ughhhh! You're impossible."
Him: "Hey, don't blame me. I've put out plenty of good names NO ONE has as options."
Me: "Oh yeah... Beethoven?! Thor!? Amadeus?! Zaphinath Pinea?!?! Please... Goodnight!"
Rebekah, This is so funny, and your husband's scary monster idea is brilliant. And thanks for the word pacific.
Leah, What a coincidence about all those people in Little League...
Names are funny, aren't they? Dh and I had two girl names that we liked, and so far we've had two girls...lucky us. If the Lord blesses us with more children, I have no idea what we'll do.
Leah - yes, except ours are usually along the lines of Hazelpony (don't know how it's actually spelled, but it's really in the OT) and Eugene Bodine or Colleen Joleen....maybe they come up with those just to irritate the poo out of us...
I like naming kids after people and my husband doesn't. I told him it was his problem when his family has hurt feelings all the kids are named after my relatives...
I reserve the right to veto. And I absolutely veto Maher Shalal Hash Baz. And Polycarp (yes, he was serious!).
PS: I think Adolph is a beautiful, classic German name and I'm not going to let a very bad man ruin it for me. I know two lovely men named Adolph, and we need more of them.
We ascribe to biblical naming. Not that we use names that appear in the Bible, rather, if you read all of the instances in the Bible where children are named they are named by the mother, unless she is dead or God specifically told the father a name.
I'm unaware of any exceptions.
It's worked well for us. ;)
I should note in fairness, we like the same names.
I actually like Sigismund. Going to leave my name anon.
I am so going to remember this. Unfortunately most of my husband's desired names are church fathers and Bible names "Melchizedek Moses Melanchthon..." As in, first, middle, middle. darn. ;)
Leah, you've got it. Shrew, Polycarp has been debated here too. Anon, it would make me really happy if somebody got to name their kid Sigismund. :D
Your infrequent foe's strategy is so lowdown that I can't help but also be impressed by its wiliness ;D.
My personal opinion, which as The Mama has helpfully pointed out has great Biblical support, is that whoever pushes the kid out should have the final say on names, including the right to revert to an alternative choice at the moment of birth, should the kid for some reason "just not look like" the first-choice consensus. Haven't had to exert that right yet, but I like to keep it on hold just in case...maybe just because it makes me feel like I'm in control of at least something during the L&D process :P
I always found that in the few moments after I had pushed that gigantic thing through that (relatively) tiny space, my husband was like putty. At that moment he was practically begging me to choose the baby's name. This wasn't really an act of willful disregard for his name choices. He was just always in such a muddle of joy that he really did want to bestow the final decision on me. Except for our last kid. I plum ran out of names and he did a great job naming our final child.
Reb Mary- ah, the sweet illusion of control! ;)
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