11 April 2011

Triage

So, every now and then (or, um, every day) I get to feeling a little down about some of those endlessly undulating household hot spots. You know the type: the “target behavior ” of one kid or another, the piles on the counter, the dust on the blinds…the zillion and one things that conspire together, alternately biding their time and rising in accusation…

The angst, of course, is often triggered by an unrealistic expectation that goes sprinting around a blind corner, only to be smashed back down on its behind, painfully wounded, after running smack into the reality that was moving inexorably around the other side. Yes, I think it’s safe to say that “keeping it real” is a skill that I haven’t quite mastered.

So a couple days ago I was feeling quite keenly the mismatch between The Ideal Household (you know, the one that exists somewhere in Plato’s world of forms…) and the one that had just lost another game of chicken with reality. After the kids were finally down if not out, I sat me down with the computer and a cup of tea and indulged in a little long-overdue bloghopping, notably down our blogroll.

Boy, am I glad I did. In many of the blogs I caught up on, y'all offered, in one way or another, great encouragement for keeping it real. Thanks, girls ;). For instance, Leah (Hey! Congrats, Leah!) blogged an “everyday,” wonderful moment of confession and absolution in her family’s life. And Dakotapam warmed my heart by being “perfectly imperfect.” I particularly like the adage from her husband’s engineering days: “There is quick, cheap, and quality. Choose two. You can never get all three.” This concept is endlessly adaptable for motherhood. Choose two in each group, because you can never get all three. For starters (and I'd love to hear someone else's infamous triads):

Breakfast, shower, hair combed.
Children’s teeth brushed, own teeth brushed, sink clear of egregious toothpaste goobers.
Homeschool, clear counter, floor swept.
Clean house, happy children, homecooked supper (HAHAHA sorry I can't even type that one with a straight face).

Way back, I wrote about another remedy for my to-do list angst. Triage seems like another great way to trick the to-do list and get a head start on the day: Make a list of things that “must” be done, and then go ahead and ward off that inevitably painful collision with reality by crossing one* off.

*Eh, better make that one or more...

11 comments:

Rebekah said...

That last one was just plain mean. :P

I'm so glad someone else's blinds are haunting them. It's the gross thing that makes me sad every day, and the job I'll never get to . . . .

greatgaunts said...

Blinds. They're the worst. So if I put them in my triage does that mean the other two will happen? This could be very useful. :)

Elizabeth said...

Oh, THANK YOU for posting! Here I am in the midst of the busy season of Lent (during which, of course, anyone who's going to have a tragedy does - and as a PW, my husband's craziness bleeds into my life), in the midst of battling worse morning sickness than I had with the first, trying to barrel through and get just a few things done off of my to-do list. I remember the days when I was oh-so-efficient, and could cross off a to-do list in a matter of hours. But then I remember that this was before we were blessed with a daughter, and I think I'd rather have her than a completed to-do list. Furthermore, I must remind myself that even if all the other ladies in Bible study have completed their Spring cleaning (and I haven't even started), that is also because they are all 30-40 years my superiors and all their children are grown and out of the house. I really like this triage idea and I think I will use it combined with the reverse to-do list to make my life less angst-filled. :) (I would post my name, but we haven't officially announced the pregnancy, so I'll stay anon for now.) :)

Anonymous said...

Woops, pregnancy brain - there's my name right there....

Leah said...

Ha! Sometimes, I think my Rule of Three is "Of these three things you'd like to, pick one. You won't have time for two."

Emily Cook said...

Oh the joys and tortures of lists!

I too am a list maker and love the idea of "triage." I just wish it came with a detailed manual. Read my own wrestlings on this topic here:

http://queenmommie.blogspot.com/2011/03/pretty-little-checkmarks-all-in-row.html

Leah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leah said...

Thank you Reb Mary. :)

Reb. Mary said...

Let's all just cross blinds off our lists forever :P

Leah, I think that'd be a far more practical approach.

Emily, thanks for the link. Nice to meet a fellow (recovering/readjusting) listaholic :D

Elizabeth, what is that thing called "spring cleaning," anyway? ;)

Emommy said...

Triage! I love it! Such an apt term. Especially because many days I have "ER triage"--you know, where I start THINKING about a list, and then I remember fifteen hours later that I never even wrote it down, much less completed anything. Kinda like when they wheeled me right through triage and straight into the delivery room because it was pretty obvious stuff was happened that couldn't be stopped, much less paused for.

Dakotapam said...

Yes, indeed. Our home is in a constant state of triage! I giggle a bit inside when someone tells me that "You have it all together". Because I so.do.not.