Feeling outnumbered

Boy1 [appearing around the corner with the pieces of something in his hand]: "I am a boy, and I break things."

Dad [trying to hide amusement]: "Oh really? Is that what it means to be a boy?"

Boy1: "Yes. I am a boy. Everything around here, I break."

Boy2 [pounding his tray gleefully]: "Break! Ha ha! Break! Ha ha!"

Boy3: Kick, kick, thump. Simultaneous shots to my ribs and kidneys.

Me to Dad [going into desperate lecture mode]: "You know, if you insist on producing only male children, that's fine. But I'm going to insist that they be civilized. Gentlemen. I will not have a house full of hooligans. And I get to define hooliganism."

Dad: "All right. I get to define full."

Me: "Fine. Hey, wait a minute..."

One little, two little, three little hooligans...