I don't know if this is even worth writing or posting, but whatever. As I've said before, the main person to whom I write is myself. So here you go, self. I'm sorry about how this is bound to make someone cry and someone angry and someone hate me even more. I'm sorry I exist.
The contraception question is one of interpretation. Both sides claim that Scripture supports their position. Those who see no problem with contraception say that it's not addressed in Scripture. Those opposed to contraception appeal to catholicity: for nearly all of its history, the church interpreted various passages of Scripture as saying that sexual intercourse which deliberately avoids conception is unchaste and sinful. Pointing to chapter and verse does not help in this argument, because the disagreement is over what chapter and verse mean.
This also means the matter of procreation is not a purely Gospel question. If contraception is not ok, well, that's Law. And the Law of God is good and wise, and it always accuses. That's why people on both sides get really hot whenever this question comes up: each is accusing the other of sin. It's no better to be a binder of consciences than it is to violate the marriage bed or be a tax collector or whatever. So those who believe that contraception is prohibited in Scripture cannot just put smiles on their faces whenever a family with a bunch of kids walks by and leave it at that. If it is under normal circumstances contrary to God's will for a married couple to avoid having a child, that must be openly condemned by the Church.
There is nothing I would love more than to be Done. I am tired and and pained in body and mind and soul, not least by the ongoing animosity and passive aggression and thuggery, of which I am chiefly guilty, among my brothers and sisters in Christ over this topic. The vision of enjoying my 30s with my five super kids and not bringing any more crying and hunger and whining and fighting and sewage into this house looks like such a blessed relief. My flesh and the world tell me that it would feel great to tell my daughters, "Thank God women's lives have gotten so much easier!" But for me and, moreover, my husband, catholicity is persuasive. God help me. God help us all.
I'm going to make pancakes, wake up the babies, and go to church. See you there.