08 May 2009

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many Concordian Sisters does it take to give birth?
A: That's not funny.

I have zero sense of humor about childbirth, which I know is uber-lame. But I just can't help it. When some dude makes a joke about what's the big deal, I don't know whether to cry or dig his left eye out with my finger. My attempt at a charitable interpretation is that the poor soul has never deliberately undertaken a really scary or painful task in his life and thus can't be expected to understand and respect such things.

I was in terror. I was variously humiliated. The pain thing. I thought I would die. I didn't take the drugs they offered me because I was afraid (though no one could definitively prove it) drugs would hurt my baby. And I may well have to do it one or three or six more times. It's just not funny.

If you wouldn't scoff at a firefighter entering a burning building to save a person inside, if you admire his courage, if you appreciate his work, don't make a joke out of childbirth. And if you think your mother was never afraid of childbirth or never complained about childbirth, you might want to consider the possibility that she wouldn't say such a thing in front of the jewel she gained from it.


Joy said...

I vote for digging his left eye out. Only don't get caught, you know... We don't want your babes growing up motherless.

I too thought I was dying for about a solid minute. I might be able to handle the pain better if it weren't so terrifying. (Then again, much of the terror comes from the pain and vice versa.) I've seen videos of women doing it drug-free with total control, and I'd love to know their secret. I'm growling like a polar bear, yelping like a peacock, roaring like a lion....

Gauntlets said...

Killer paint job, friend.

As for laughing . . . I'm too tired just now to have anything to say.

Lutheran Woman said...

"Don't cry about the pain, just show me the baby!"

-- My "funny" husband during my labor of a few of my children.