Saying, "The LCMS does not ordain women" is putting the cart before the horse.
What we mean is, "The LCMS confesses with the Church catholic God's ordering of human life and relationships as taught in Scripture."
What we mean is, "A home needs a mother."
What we mean is, "Under normal circumstances, a woman spends her life caring for her family."
What we mean is, "What kind of jerk would take a woman's God-given, life-giving work from her?"
What we mean is, "What kind of jerk would tell a woman her life's devouring work isn't good enough?"
What we mean is, "What kind of jerk would lie to his/his neighbor's wife to entice and force her away from her work, rather than urging her to stay and do her duty?"
But horses are just for pretty these days, and a lot more work than carts, so the cart comes first. Too bad, because it's hard for even a horse who knows and accepts how things are supposed to be not to feel somewhat hurt with cart out front--especially since the main thing she knows and accepts is that it's still her job to move it.
Lutherans know the value and necessity of a good damnamus. But it's no wonder I hear mutters and snorts from usually well-behaved Lutheran ladies when this topic comes up. Our Synod was and remains afraid to confess the mysterious good and is left only condemning the popular bad. Good luck making somebody else look like the jerk.
Women's ordination is nonsensical to the Christian mind, but we treat it like a thoroughly rational proposition, accepting the world's grounds for debate. Stupid.
The world is still going to think we're jerks. But wouldn't it be nice (and, moreover, a better confession) if the Missouri Synod were known as much for its chivalry as it is for "not ordaining women"?