10 September 2012


Little has made me feel more at home in this place we've landed than having crazy rumors about me get back to me. The first major one I remember was soon after the birth of Baby 5. Scouts were sent to discover if I was, in fact, pregnant again already. No, I explained calmly, I am merely fat. I just had a baby.

Later, word came in from the street that I was going to be making all the pies for our church's sausage supper. The sausage supper feeds over 1000 people and requires approximately 80 grillion pies. I was pleased that someone imagined I would be capable of this.

A few months ago I learned of a belief that the lady who sits with me in church was going to quit her job and become my full-time nanny. It's a great idea.

Last week I received congratulations from someone who had heard I was expecting again. I congratulated her on receiving the news before I did. She was apologetic. I assured her it was a mistake anyone could make.

I have also heard various reports as to the number of children my husband and I are purportedly aiming to have. Some say seven, some say eight. I think I have even heard ten floated. Imagine my surprise when this very evening someone disputed a number projected by a third party on the grounds that fruitfulness was the relevant non-numeric. Imagine also the color of my face while this discussion took place around me.

I am not kidding at all when I say I am, overall, deeply honored to have become part of the local rumor mill. I find it hilarious and flattering to be a Person of Interest. It makes me feel like I really belong here. I can't wait to hear what I'm up to next.


Jane said...

That is hysterical! Glad you feel at home ;-)

Untamed Shrew said...

Eleventeen. That's how many kids you're having.

The Rev. BT Ball said...

The answer to how many is, "As many as God gives." Shuts 'em up every time.

Leah said...

Could I get your autograph?

Anonymous said...

Do they read this blog?

If not, they should.

This post is hilarious!

Rebekah said...

I don't know; who are you?

Cathy said...

A real VIP

Emommy said...

Love it! Scouts as gossip-reporters... yes! I had strep a few weeks ago and missed church. DH told inquisitive souls that I was sick. A few came out and asked if I was expecting...and they were disappointed when he said no! That made me feel like they must really love us.