20 March 2012

Pipe dream

Forgive my organist obsession. Does any organist want to move here?

I have an idea. All the chicks who want to be pastors should become organists.

--It's harder. Seminary can be bluffed through to a large extent. Pastoral ministry including but not limited to the conduction of the Divine Service can be and is bluffed through all the time. An hour's worth of music at the ability level demanded by Lutheran liturgy and hymnody absolutely cannot be bluffed through. Instant respect!

--It's cheaper. I don't know how much organ lessons cost but I can't imagine coming out of them with an amount of debt comparable to four years at the seminary.

--It's more appreciated. Pastors can always find an elder to mumble through Matins and no one really cares. They're actually glad for the shorter service. But everyone notices and hates it when there's no accompaniment, even people who don't like singing*.

--It's an opportunity for leadership (ie inspiration, encouragement, and influence). Lots of pastors don't like choosing hymns every week and will let the organist take over the job. "The Church Sustainable" section of the hymnal will finally start getting used like it should.

--It's easier. No dealing with annoying people and their annoying problems all the time like pastors have to. Also no meetings except maybe with the pastor, which will be a great chance to throw zingers at him about how lousy his lousy non-women-ordaining denomination is.

And if it doesn't work out at church they can always play at ball games, since no one will let them pitch.


*Of which there are many. Eliminating all the music is one of my big plans to make church more seeker friendly. Much shorter services, no awkward expectations of non-singers or people who don't like Ben Folds concerts, and no more getting stuck listening to a bunch of freaking soloists or church bands who think they're super awesome and that there's nothing we'd rather be doing than listening to them howl all morning.


HappyFox said...

It's my "when the kids are old enough to let me practice" goal to learn to play the organ. I'll give you a call when I'm up to the task.

8wks pregnant w/#3

Rebekah said...

By that time, I have this other pipe dream that I'll be up to it. And congrats! :)

Christine said...

As an organist, I love this post!

Gayle Wilson said...

haha. good one.

If I were a blogger (and you can tell by my response to your post, that'd be a mistake), I'd write a post about wimpy worship leaders leaving out the cool test tube verse of Earth and All Stars.

(I need to admit I don't get the photo.)

Untamed Shrew said...

yaaaayyy, Bonnie!

Dakotapam said...

:) Bonnie

and Gayle...I'd read your blog and not even complain about photo size:)

Gayle Wilson said...

@Pam, haha! (Now I have to prove I'm not a robot)