Notice to area hunters: If you see what initially appears to be a doe wearing unusually plaid maternity clothes in the vicinity of your mineral traps, please do not shoot her. Just throw her a family-sized bag of potato chips and holler for her to head on home. If she does not bolt right away, it is because she is trying to force delicious saltiness into her mouth past the 13 pieces of gum already wadded in there. Maybe wave your arms around a little while singing some old Bryan Adams tunes, and you’ll frighten her off.This shameful creature apologizes in advance for being so pesky, but she really can’t help herself.
Somebody save me.