10 July 2008

Wherefore CSPP?

I had a thought-provoking talk recently with a friend who lovingly asked me why we don't space out these babies a bit more. I've gotten lazy in my old age and have lost that college debater acuity that used to serve me so well (ie spur me to speak definitively and authoritatively with little preparatory thought or concern for accuracy). My husband and I sludged through the major arguments in the contraception debate back a ways and ended up where we are now, but I hadn't revisited them in a while, so my sluggishness in the conversation suggested I was due. I've multiplied and then some. Why shouldn't I be done, or at least pace myself?

Here's what it comes down to: I don't have any reason to tell God "no" or "ask again later" when he offers me a baby. We have income, health insurance, and a house (it's even big). I am very healthy and pregnancy does not pose any unusual risks or difficulties for me. I'm cranky, but not crazy. I am neither sick (in body or mind) nor in want, so I don't have an excuse, if I wanted to argue that those things are excuses.

Hey, you--want a baby?

Whenever the topic of contraception comes up, discussion almost immediately veers into casuistry and hard cases. Well, everybody, I'm an easy case, despite my slothful, whiny hatred of admitting it (no, really! I'm a victim! feel sorry for me!). Here I am volunteering to be your control study. And here's how it looks. You're welcome.

So that's why, friend. It's not the life I imagined, but I think it's what's right. I plugged in my personal variables and this is the answer I got. I am not and should not be presumed to be speaking for anyone else.


Gauntlets said...

I've been giving this a lot of thought of late, mostly because here I sit, not yet pregnant, and not entirely sure what to think.

We got into this CSPP thing by sheer accident. The babies kept coming whether we meant for them to or not, and I started to feel a bit trapped by the ordeal. But now that I'm older (OLD! WHEN!?!) and on this side of the divide, I feel less desperate, sensing a freedom to stand still and simply wait.

Meh. I better go ponder all this over a bowl of ice cream.

Pr. H. R. said...

When? About what, two weeks before I did...


Reb. Mary said...

<< I am not and should not be presumed to be speaking for anyone else. >>

That's right. You're not speaking for me. I'm still looking for any excuse I can find :P But that's for another post.

Gauntlets: send some of that un-desperate freedom over this way, please.

Gauntlets said...

Reb. Mary: Just hurry up and get old, like me. Oldness brings such great contentment. ;)

And, hey there, Father H.R. Don't rub it in.

Rebekah said...

RM, I've got something drafted to that effect as well. :D And I also feel kind of less desperate than I used to, probably just because the idea of it keeping up like this for another 15 years seems somehow impossible . . . o foolish self!