02 April 2008

Not a bad gig

Father David thinks it's good to be a pastor. I pray always that my husband does too, because this would sure be a drag if he didn't. But I'm glad Father David brought it up, because it gives me an excuse to say something that I think is also worth saying: it's good to be a pastor's wife. We all know there are challenges, and they've been cried about enough that I don't feel any need to rehash them here. Here's the other side:

--I don't have to beg my husband to go to church with me. He sees to it that I am well-cared for spiritually. He models sanctity for me and our children. He cares deeply about and invests himself heavily in the spiritual welfare of our children.

--Church is close and familiar to us. We feel at home there. We spend time around other pastors, so our kids feel comfortable around them.

--He gets it about vocation, including mine.

--He sees a lot of messed up families and knows better than most people how not worth it it is to mess up your family.

--I don't have to feel bad about pestering Pastor all the time with my moral dilemmas and theological confusion (no one should feel bad about that, but I would). He's great at fielding questions from the babies, too.

--We never have to travel on holidays.

--I never have to worry that he'll go out dressed like a goober.

--His schedule has more built-in flexibility than another job would. He can often be home during the day, which means I don't have to try to find a babysitter when somebody has a doctor's appointment.

--People do nice things for us. Food shows up on our porch in bewildering quantities.

--He knows all the hospitals really well so we know which ones not to have a baby at.

--He doesn't have to travel much, and when he does, we often get to come along.

--I know this isn't the case everywhere, but it is for me so I'll include it: the local specimen happens to be a real looker. Lucky me! (Oh, and he preaches ok too.)

--And a lot of other things I can't think of now that I'm trying to.


The Rebellious Pastor's Wife said...

I spent several years not seeing the benefits of being married to a pastor, and focusing on the frustrations. Luckily, I think I am past that...

Good list. It made me laugh!

Reb. Mary said...

Amen, Rebekah! I was so, so afraid to be a pastor's wife--it was one of the items on my long list of "nevers" that God so enjoys reversing for me. Never saw myself in a small town/semi-rural parish, either--but there are lots of advantages to that too, that I never would've imagined.
Another thing I've had occasion to tell my husband is that I'm so glad to know I'll always be able to respect my pastor (after a rather, uh, unfortunate vicarage experience, I realized just how awful it would be to be committed to a church with a pastor that it was nearly impossible to respect on a personal level.)

Rosie said...

dude, it's like being married to a seminarian... only with $$$! :-D

Gauntlets said...

Rosie: More like $, I think. ;)

I think I'll send this list to the District pastor's wife in charge of District Pastors' Wives Grouse Fests . . . er, Conferences. I may add a few little things in laud of rural parishes (like freezers full of free beef). And if the list influences the agenda I might just consider attending the Fest after all.

Gauntlets said...

"it was one of the items on my long list of "nevers" that God so enjoys reversing for me."

This made my entire day, by the by. :)

Rebekah said...

I should mention that I've probably had it easier than many since I grew up in a pastor's family and was already acclimated to its peculiarities. And we're also blessed to be at two great congregations full of very nice people, which makes a big difference.

Rosie said...


Have you had enough kids yet for Trinity to need an associate pastor? I know a great 4th year seminarian... :)