29 June 2011

This is how we treat our friends?

Nothing about the contemporary wedding has ever made sense or appealed to me. I find its demands shallow and inconsiderate, its conventions frivolous and absurd*, and its caricaturing of certain divine mysteries nauseating. But what really stands out to me from all the madness is the gross insensitivity of putting a group of random, normal women on display for 45 minutes of gawking, especially if they're all expected to wear the same dress.

(I realize this is silly of me and virtually no contemporary women consider themselves the least bit un-gawkworthy in any state of dress or undress.)

You stay classy, America.

*Symptomatic of my non-decorative inclination, probably. I'm sure everybody else's wedding was beautiful.

14 comments:

William Weedon said...

But it is so much fun to compare tattoos on their shoulders...

Cheryl said...

LOL, Pastor Weedon!

Untamed Shrew said...

When you mentioned absurd conventions, I thought you meant sitting on a chair in the reception hall while kinky bow-chica-bow-wow muzak played and your brand new husband had to publicly go up your skirt to fish out a garter.

We didn't do that either.

K said...

what's even more absurd is how many people will get really mad at you if you don't have bridesmaids/groomsmen. or if you don't stand up front the whole time. or if you don't kiss in front of the altar. or if jesus is the main attraction. etc. etc.
they do get mad, i'll tell you.

Cheryl said...

All I knew of weddings when I got married was watching several of my sisters have shotgun ones. My husband-to-be didn't know anything either. So we just came up with our own thing. Some of the conventions we followed, some we didn't. One of the things I am most proud of is the string quartet at our punch & cake reception (ah, the benefits of being music majors). But there were some things we did/didn't do that when I got older and started going to "nice" weddings I thought, oh my goodness, we did it all wrong. Now I realize there is no one right way (other than keeping Jesus as center). I will advise my children to do what makes them happy as long as it is cross-focused, in good taste, and doesn't cost too much. :-)

Leah said...

And how much more awkward to be one of those women on display 4 weeks after giving birth to your first, who's in the narthex screaming because he's hungry and his mama can't come nurse him....

Oh the things you wish you could undo...

Rebekah said...

K, I didn't realize how lucky I was to have a family that didn't care until I heard stories from other people about future in-laws and MsOTB flipping out.

Elizabeth said...

I know this is a little off-topic, but when I read your bit about "virtually no contemporary women", it reminded me of a conversation my hubby and I had today on the way back from the CNM and ultrasound for #2. I was laughing about how "caught up" all OBs and CNMs seem about solidifying a due date - as if the baby is really going to come that day or as if setting a due date is going to change at all when the baby DOES come (esp since I am pretty sure I know when I conceived, so I could really just tell them an accurate "due date"). My hubby said, but dear, think of the culture - most people want to know EXACTLY when they are going to have that baby. True. I think I like being counter-cultural. Wedding-wise, baby-wise, faith-wise.... :) And I just thank God (and my friend) that I was asked to be a personal attendant in October for her wedding instead of a bridesmaid for many reasons, none of the least of which is that I can't imagine any bridesmaid dress that will look good on a body that's THAT preggo...

Sarah Osbun said...

My cousin was a matron of honor one week before her second ten pound son was born...

Anonymous said...

And then there's the one who wanted her dead sister to be the maid of honor. . .she thought they could light a candle to represent her. I'm not joking.

Anonymous said...

"And then there's the one who wanted her dead sister to be the maid of honor. . .she thought they could light a candle to represent her. I'm not joking."


Actually, this is one I can actually sympathize with if she is so overwhelmed with grief that she comes up with such an idea. Very sad.

Skeptigirl said...

Weddings are so boring. Mine was and we tried to strip out as much stupid filler as we could. We did manage to spend absolutely no money on it (actually we made some in the form of gifts) even the ceremony was free as a gift from the pastor.

Rebekah said...

I should mention that my own appearances as a bridesmaid were blessedly few, and for people I'd never be mad at for anything, and occurred before I started spending much of my life awkwardly shaped. But doesn't there usually seem to be at least one bridesmaid whose dignity just wasn't a factor when dresses got picked?

Katy said...

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2011/06/30/bridesmaids/