17 June 2008

The politics of multiparity

A woman pregnant with her first baby is radiant, beautiful, adorable.

A woman pregnant with her second baby is matronly, serene, not disrespectable.

A woman pregnant with her third baby is a trouper, pitiable. We're glad for her that she's about to be put out to pasture.

A woman pregnant with her fourth+ baby is a sow. A breeder. A glutton. An abuser of the environment. Pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and childrearing are obviously not difficult for her or she'd have quit by now like any sane, unselfish, thinking person. All she's doing is, as I heard it described on Talk of the Nation a few weeks ago, "pop[ping] out puppies," and she needs to be publicly derided for it. (Thanks, Russ in Kansas City--your insights on Christianity were strikingly original. And Ira, the ideological balance of calls you accept on the show is a fine reflection of your journalistic integrity).

More environment, please! Oink oink oink.

Female circumcision motivated by religious belief? Hey, who are we to judge (at least in certain times and places; find on this page "genital mutilation")? The tiny minority of adherents to catholic doctrine who take babies as God gives them (which only sometimes means a lot)? Christianist militant nut jobs, and stupid to boot.


Rosie said...

I'm so happy to be radiant, beautiful, adorable. And I still have a few rounds before attaining sow status - awesome! :)

Gauntlets said...

Those idiots. Not puppies. Calves!

Three calves and you're a cow. Officially. Anything before that = heifer, and at heifer status, if you're not good at making calves it's off to the knacker.

You're only good for something once you've calved three times. That third calf saves your hide. Well, it saves your hide long enough to up to calf four, five, etc. The longer you calve, the longer you keep your hide. It's a matter of survival, girls.

Sheesh. Don't those Talk of the Nation dudes know anything? Don't let them confuse you. ;)

Dan @ Necessary Roughness said...

Five's nothing:

Rebekah said...

Dan, that gal's definitely got me beat, but I'm not as hairy as she is.

Gauntlets, you sound like my FIL, who, whenever he learns that I'm pregnant, just asks when I'm going to calf.

Rosie, JUST YOU WAIT!!!! :D

Kelly said...

Guess I'll join Rosie and enjoy being radiant, beautiful, and adorable before working my way down the barnyard hierarchy. Though I recall that the pigs were the most intelligent species on Animal Farm...hmmm.

Liz said...

I find it amusing that these same anti-fertility people are going to be the ones who nag their kids about not producing grandchildren. My parents are envied among their siblings. I will not have to pay a baby sitter for years.

Gauntlets said...

liz: I've often wondered about the grandchild factor myself. Well, we all get what we pay for, I guess. ;)

rebekah: We've been reading Farmer Boy, see? And I just can't help but talk stock. I also can't help but eat egregious amounts of sausage cakes and apple pie after each chapter. Wow. Laura Wilder, feeding food oglers everywhere.

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